He sounds like a good man and a hard worker. Clearing 18 acres and seeding 10 of them down up in “The County” would be a herculean effort, in a state where the most abundant crop is rocks of unusual size. I speak from experience.
This article appeared in a smattering of U.S., UK and Australian newspapers in August of 1865 then sporadically in various places through 1867 in the search that I did. 19th century fake news?
I think the concept of mail-order brides was common in 18th and 19th century America. I have a great-great-grandfather who was raised on a small farm in central Missouri. He didn’t go to high school and could barely read and write. He married a woman from Iowa, also from a small farm who I don’t think could read and write. Neither of these families had any money and both had a bunch of children. How did these two meet? Their daughter, my great-grandmother, also seems to have met her husband the same way.
Now I had a choice to make. I wasn’t really looking for a cat. I was perfectly fine without one. But the cat was at my window, and I did have some packets of tuna. Should I let it in? Should I put the tuna on a dish and set it outside? And what was with those dreams? Was the cat actually toying with me, or was my mind doing that all on its own. Would there actually be any difference from one option to the other? What was the standard procedure for this? I had no idea how to manage this situation. I felt like a sheltered child of a wilderness family, cast into adulthood without preparation or even a hint of social skills. But come on. It’s just a cat. What could it hurt to have it hanging around? It’s not like it would require a lot of care. It would probably be outside most of the time. I shouldn’t even need to buy litter or get one of those carpeted cat towers. It wouldn’t be living here, just visiting. And it would keep the local area free of verminous creatures. The cat was staring at me as I considered all of this.
A little curiosity and a niggling in the back of my memory caused me to look into the word waterfall, since the context in today’s FA seemed too poetic. I found a second meaning for the noun waterfall … a manner of arranging women’s hair, as in long, loose waves. That would go along with the hoop skirt as part of the mid-Nineteenth Century women’s fashion.
Looking: gee, this dorky loser looks a lot like Nicholas Cage. (Not a ringing endorsement.)
Reading: He really is a loser, an eighteen year-old who does not know “how to do it,” meaning, after the chuckles die down, how to find the mate he so desires. Hence, this newspaper Want Ad (literally “want”).
My prediction: he will still be without a mate when he turns sixty, but he will have a flourishing farm-estate….
Jonathan Lemon creator 10 months ago
He had me at “hoop skirts”.
Superfrog 10 months ago
So, is he holding interviews, auditions or selling raffle tickets?
Say What Now‽ Premium Member 10 months ago
Swipe left!
Imagine 10 months ago
He’d like to take her for a spinster.
Randy B Premium Member 10 months ago
There’s a lot to unpack in the last sentence: “But I don’t know how to do it.”
3hourtour Premium Member 10 months ago
…of course the woman he finds is always Julie Andrews…
…never Bertha butt…
…one of the Butt sisters…
..and it should be Bertha…
…she’s big and strong…
…can make spaghetti out of only corn…
…and has killed both a mountain lion and a bear…
…she can both sew and stitch…
…and hitch the wagons…
…Marilyn Monroe would be considered fat nowadays…
…and she looks just slightly chunkier …
..her breasts are like snowcapped mountains…
…her perfect teeth white as sheep…
…she can plant with the best of them…
…Bertha is witty with a ruff but fun personality…
…and her dog, Lassie, comes with her as a package deal…
…and is a sturdyship in a storm…
The Old Wolf 10 months ago
He sounds like a good man and a hard worker. Clearing 18 acres and seeding 10 of them down up in “The County” would be a herculean effort, in a state where the most abundant crop is rocks of unusual size. I speak from experience.
pat sandy creator 10 months ago
he’s a keeper.
Brass Orchid Premium Member 10 months ago
Probably want to check on those potatoes before jumping into anything, though.
BadCreaturesBecomeDems 10 months ago
He don’t look like the picture…
Wiley creator 10 months ago
How do you find stuff like this? It’s amazing!
ericlscott creator 10 months ago
An American poem.
coltish1 10 months ago
Well, stand up straight, and make sure you’ve placed your garter belt at an acceptably modest distance up your thigh. Nothing to it.
Mad-ge Dish Soap 10 months ago
You are hiding the issue, you are skirting the falling way.
coltish1 10 months ago
Here’s what I can’t unpack: “I believe in Andy Johnson.”
androgenoide 10 months ago
I’ve found this text before but I’d like to know if the picture is actually associated with it.
charles9156 10 months ago
A.I. ?
Mad-ge Dish Soap 10 months ago
The elk and the elephant play on Broadway.
Mad-ge Dish Soap 10 months ago
I am bareatone not saprano.
Rev Phnk Ey 10 months ago
and so it begins
Mad-ge Dish Soap 10 months ago
Anywho will do. For I rule the world and knock on wood.
Linguist 10 months ago
I simply can’t understand why he won’t buy bread and butter, hoop skirts, and waterfalls for someone of the male persuasion!!
Rotifer NOT GETTING RUBEN BOLLING’S PIN Thalweg Premium Member 10 months ago
I wonder if he used AI to write that?
JohnBR Premium Member 10 months ago
This article appeared in a smattering of U.S., UK and Australian newspapers in August of 1865 then sporadically in various places through 1867 in the search that I did. 19th century fake news?
Zebrastripes 10 months ago
If he clicks his heels three times he may just find himself in OZ!
There’s plenty of Witches, and Fairies and Munchkins…OH MY!
lemonbaskt 10 months ago
is he trying to impress a woman with his buckwheat ?
AndromedaMike 10 months ago
I think the concept of mail-order brides was common in 18th and 19th century America. I have a great-great-grandfather who was raised on a small farm in central Missouri. He didn’t go to high school and could barely read and write. He married a woman from Iowa, also from a small farm who I don’t think could read and write. Neither of these families had any money and both had a bunch of children. How did these two meet? Their daughter, my great-grandmother, also seems to have met her husband the same way.
painedsmile 10 months ago
How do you buy a waterfall?
Marguerite Dabaie creator 10 months ago
I love how it’s multiple waterfalls he’s offering. One piddly waterfall? Pfffff.
Judeeye Premium Member 10 months ago
First rate buckwheat and a hooped skirt. I’m intrigued.
Howard'sMyHero 10 months ago
With 9 sheep, why would he want to get married …?
( Baaa, Baaa )
Brass Orchid Premium Member 10 months ago
Now I had a choice to make. I wasn’t really looking for a cat. I was perfectly fine without one. But the cat was at my window, and I did have some packets of tuna. Should I let it in? Should I put the tuna on a dish and set it outside? And what was with those dreams? Was the cat actually toying with me, or was my mind doing that all on its own. Would there actually be any difference from one option to the other? What was the standard procedure for this? I had no idea how to manage this situation. I felt like a sheltered child of a wilderness family, cast into adulthood without preparation or even a hint of social skills. But come on. It’s just a cat. What could it hurt to have it hanging around? It’s not like it would require a lot of care. It would probably be outside most of the time. I shouldn’t even need to buy litter or get one of those carpeted cat towers. It wouldn’t be living here, just visiting. And it would keep the local area free of verminous creatures. The cat was staring at me as I considered all of this.
ransomknotts 10 months ago
If GoComics had trending words, today’s words would be #buckwheat #waterfalls #AndyJohnson #hoopskirts
Linguist 10 months ago
A little curiosity and a niggling in the back of my memory caused me to look into the word waterfall, since the context in today’s FA seemed too poetic. I found a second meaning for the noun waterfall … a manner of arranging women’s hair, as in long, loose waves. That would go along with the hoop skirt as part of the mid-Nineteenth Century women’s fashion.
Teresa Burritt (Frog Applause) creator 10 months ago
Experiment on how to post links: tinyurl dot com slash 2e6vpwjy
Sisyphos 10 months ago
So, first, I look. Then, I read.
Looking: gee, this dorky loser looks a lot like Nicholas Cage. (Not a ringing endorsement.)
Reading: He really is a loser, an eighteen year-old who does not know “how to do it,” meaning, after the chuckles die down, how to find the mate he so desires. Hence, this newspaper Want Ad (literally “want”).
My prediction: he will still be without a mate when he turns sixty, but he will have a flourishing farm-estate….
FrankPage creator 10 months ago
I think I know that guy… :-)
samuli creator 10 months ago
What a catch!