The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for October 05, 2023

from the legend of cant sleepy hollow

I’m not feeling well. I have an icky bod.

“But Doc, my head didn’t use to look like a pumpkin.”

Tonight his head will feel like it’s on fire.

Yes, as soon as his head starts to rot.

Not even a pumpkin spice placebo?

It will go away along with his head.

Your sodium level is way too high. Stop eating salted pumpkin seeds.

And they say pumpkin spice is harmless.

The good news is our surgeons removed all of your brain tumor. The bad news is there’s not much left in there. Oh, and you only have about a month left to live.

Groan. Remarkable stretch, though.

Please, NO! No pumpkin spice cartoons!!!

That doctor’s out of his gourd.

Maybe cough up a few seeds and that should clear your throat.

He’s always being confused with the Headless Horseman! Go figure!

Do Chiropractors diagnose laryngitis, too? (They can’t prescribe real meds).

Yeah… when his head begins to decompose…

So expensive, I had to lower my blue pill dosage. Truly a wilting experience.

We’re being Spooner fed here.

his dentist did pretty much the same thing – told him to try to trancend dental medication.