Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for October 31, 2023

Show of hands – do any of you ever go to a shuttered business and expect to see anything there at all? Anyone?

Yes, Mopey, reopen it so people can come by once a year to see a person wearing a costume made of pizza boxes. They didn’t show up now to purchase any pizza, obviously, nor did they say they ever actually ate in Montoni’s, they just came by once a year to see the PBM. With a business plan like that, how can Pete the Pizza King possibly fail?

Can we go back to Lena forcing herself on the bowling team…roster?

Pete’s Business Plan: “We NEED to reopen so that we get the repeat business of people who come here once a year! And randomly walk into closed, dusty dumps like this! (Quick, throw a tablecloth over the pile of rat feces!)”

No, Mopey Pete, this is why you, the Pizza Box Monster and Montoni’s need to stay in Funky Winkerbean.

Chocolate Pizza Anyone

Wasn’t the Pizza now-not-Box Monster’s deal that he appeared at random? Thus terrifying Funky for [REASON TO BE DETERMINED], yet not Wally who literally has PTSD? And yet these people expect to see it on cue? Why, it’s almost as if the author has forgotten what he wrote! AGAIN

“What’s this ‘we’ stuff, Eye Bags?”

You have to have followed Funky Winkerbean for years to understand this.

The ‘it’s not the same’ line is rather well done here. Applies to a lot of our better memories, especially today as another holiday passes by. Happy Halloween.

The ole boy really wants this business!

Opening Montana’s is doomed to fail. How in the world will you be able to work from home?

I have chills. Ether 1). Someone needs to turn on the pizza ovens or 2). The spiderwebs on halloween.

Where did Monster Guy get all the Montoni’’s boxes if it’s been closed?

Yeah, right. The Pizza box Monster showed up at random, surprising the workers every year. Nobody was ever there waiting to see him steal food.

It is lame. We/They are lame. He, She or It is lame.

I’m sure those kids are glad they went to an abandoned building (on a street that only has one open business now, as far as I know) to see a stranger wearing trash, instead of getting to trick or treat.

Crankshaft drinking game (warning: dont try this unless you have a death wish, and ESPECIALLY dont drink if you’re under 21)

take a shot when:

Crankshaft acts like a dick to anyone (drink the entire bottle when its towards Lena or Lillian)

crank uses a maloproper

comics are mentioned

anybody criticizes Lena’s baking skills

drink the entire bottle when

Keesterman’s mailbox gets destroyed

something bad happens to Crankshaft

any Funky Winkerbean character appears in a strip (drink another bottle if it’s Les Moore)

Batty sux.

The guy in the ‘toon looks like Ringo Starr!

Haha! (＾▽＾)