Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 16, 2023

Yes, it is.

Just say it’s only for fun. People will understand.

Hey, Suuusie! (Calvin throws a big wet one) Splat!

Kinda is. Coal again this year….

Let Susie hit you first and then it’s not morally wrong to fire back.

Future greed? He’s already a mini-Trump!!

Life is full of temptations and choices. What choice will Calvin make?

It really is a foregone conclusion, Calvin. Know thyself.

Once again Hobbes is right.

He might want to consider Susie’s inevitable retaliation.

Not foregone, but once the decision’s been made, it’s gone for good!!

Just go back inside Calvin. You won’t be tempted to throw a snowball if you’re not out there looking at all the snow.

Newsflash! Santa totally doesn’t mind a friendly snowball fight!

Hobbes knows you all too well, Calvin!

Yes it is. I’ve been there.

As usual, Hobbes is spot on.

The totality of Calvin’s emotions: Pleasure, Greed. It’s foregone.

Evolutionarily speaking, humans were sometimes known as the “time-binding animal”, because it appeared that we were the only species with awareness of the future instead of just responding to our instincts in the moment. But that ability to anticipate and plan was a late veneer over millions of years when awareness of one’s immediate surroundings and fast reflexes were the best tools for survival. And the time-binding stuff could really only be passed along from one generation to the next at first by example and later by language. Since small children are basically narcissistic little hedonists, 9 times out of 10 your best bet for their behavior would be to go with whatever short-range goal is most immediately apparent to them. (This was tested in famous behavioral experiments when kids were left alone in a room with a desirable treat and told that they could have two of them if the first one remained uneaten when the experimenter returned. Self-control in this situation correlated fairly well with age.)

The reminds The Count of the scene in the “Animal House Double Secret Probation Cut” where Pinto is on the bed at the toga party with drunk teeny bopper Cloretta DePasto and the little angel and devil guys are on Pinto’s shoulder offering advice.

Oh, I think it is

You can do it, Calvin. Let Susie hit you first.

The only rules Calvin obeys are those of Calvinball. So, Hobbes should propose a long-term game and make the first rule that Suzie is off-limits for snowballs, slushballs and other such things. The second rule is that the first rule can’t be undone by any subsequent modifying rule.

That should keep Suzie (and Calvin) safe at least for a while.

Alternatively, he could challenge her to a mutual snowball fight and get it out of his system.

An existential crisis, but only because it’s December.

Poor Susie? Poor Calvin never seems to reason that Suzie retaliates to a greater degree than she is harmed.

Here’s a idea Calvin: Build a snow-girl, that looks like Susie, and throw snow/slush balls at it. OR stock pile snow balls in a shady area, to use after Christmas.

Calvin just can’t resist smacking Susie with a snowball.,..

In a boxing match, immediate pleasure has a 50 pound, 5 inch reach advantage over future greed

Yes, Calvin is a bad person. He is not some misunderstood genius, like a few people were saying this week. His true nature is bad.

just make snowmen or go sledding, there’s lots of stuff to do without getting into fights

Time to go inside…?