Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for December 20, 2023

He’s mental … ornamental

Looks kinda like Carmen Miranda.

The older I get the more Christmas lights I need to hide the bald spot on my…uh, tree.

That treediculously obvious eh.

That’s the conifer version of a combover.

It was the cat.

Imagine if he had no needles on top. >:-O

Bare spot, that is.

It’s not that he’s covering his bald spot, it’s that he’s doing it with style.

He’s got a bad case of WoodPeckeritis.

Sssssh! Pretend we don’t notice….

My father-in-law used to buy a real tree and then pick up the miscellaneous branches. He drilled holes in the trunk and inserted the branches in the bald spots.

For more than a dozen years, we lived in the Pacific Northwest. Christmas trees grow like weeds there. It was difficult to find a space where you could reach in to get to the trunk to carry the tree.

One year, my in-laws visited. My mother-in-law sat next to the tree and “petted” the branches. She could not believe how soft the needles were. Trees sold in Brooklyn are usually cut sometime in October. This tree was cut a week before.

Blame it on the family tree.

The other twoare certainly a bit needled.

It takes balls to decorate a tree for Xmas.

Ha! Don’t needle him too hard, it’ll only make matters worse.

My…what nice bling you have there!

I guess a yamulke wouldn’t do.

Oh, Tannenbald, oh Tannenbald!