Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for January 12, 2024

She didn’t say “Mother may I.”

I’ve been in the same spot as Arlo. My Janis reads me something she likes but my thoughts are elsewhere. It’s the sudden silence that spells danger. But ‘tis better to be silent and thought a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Anything you say can and will be used against you.

Wasn’t listening?

When clothes shopping and my better-half FINALLY sees something she likes, I tell her to buy one of every color available. She’ll laugh and pick her favorite.

Fair. If you can be replaced by a brick with a face painted on it you’re not holding up your end of the conversation.

Arlo forget to nod his head.

He wrong if he approves, wrong if he disagrees, wrong if he stays silent, “anything you say or don’t say will be held against you…”

No comment

If he’s watching football, forget it…

Contrary to popular thinking, men are often thinking of many things at the same time. The significant other’s comments etc. don’t resonate immediately unless they’re one of the things we’re thinking about.

It is better to say nothing, especially when whatever you say.. you are wrong.

When my wife is busy doing something she talks a lot and only I know when an answer is needed.

Ok, lemme get this straight. Janis isn’t sure if Arlo is actually listening because he doesn’t respond. And didn’t Janis try to interrupt what he was doing?

The problem is hers. After all, they’ve been married for how long? Not sure, but long enough that she should know her husband.

Yep. Just another classic case of everything a husband does is wrong when it’s not his fault at all.

(Yep. This post will either be ignored or will ignite a firestorm. Let the games begin – or not.)

Answer: Am I breathing?

Then I wouldn’t be a good listener.

I am a little hard of hearing so I miss about every third word , but I don’t say huh? instead I just go with what I heard. She knows this and doesn’t get upset

My wife will start telling me something like “Take down the lights” and I’ll miss the rest of her discussion because I’ve started thinking about what I need to do, what equipment I need, where that equipment is, did any of the lights need replacement, how I’m going to wrap up the lights to prevent tangles including 36 youtube videos that showed me how to do this, the pretty girl in one of the videos who wore a low-cut blouse and liked to show off her cleavage while wrapping lights…

Sorry dear, I was thinking about my first car and why did I sell it…

He’s ignoring you, Janis. Either that, or his thoughts are elsewhere.

“Yes dear” is my usual canned response.

Suddenly Arlo has turned boringly boring…..

Got to remember to throw in that occasional “uh huh” and head nod, Arlo….

I wascgoing to show this one to my wife, but realized just in time that would NOT be a good idea

My wife, often refered to as “The Wife”, will narrate a long commentary about some subject at hand. I will deduce she is looking for a response. Being careful, because this is dangerous territory, I will contemplate, for a couple minutes, a well crafted response. Having delivered said response, she will turn to me and say “What?”.

Is that an actual paper catalog from a real brick and mortar store that Janis is looking at? Who does that anymore?

Married guys learn to keep their mouth shut ond opinions to themselves. It’s a marriage survival skill…..

I don’t think that the listening thing is an exclusively male problem.

Say something??? Okay. The answer is 42, add your own units.

He has learned from hard experience that it is unpleasant to interrupt while you are talking.

I would never talk to my husband about what clothes I wanted to buy, or any other topic I know he has no interest in. I don’t talk to him much, and he seems happier that way. Fortunately I have 2 adult daughters who can have a normal conversation.

Get up, head to the kitchen and ask if he can make her something.

My wife said I never listen to her. I thought that was a strange way to start a conversation.

Tell Arlo that it only costs $495.00 and see if he responds …

That ain’t kosher.

My husband is going deaf but tries to fake it. Sometimes he’ll respond, “Sounds good to me” when I’ve asked him something like “Do you want chili or stew for supper?”

I will run on and on talking (same as I write). Husband may or may not listen depending on the subject, his hearing at that time, and what else he is thinking of. It makes no difference to me. He also will run on when speaking and same applies in reverse.

If it is something important – same will be noted at the beginning of the conversation as in “We have to go to the bank this week.” or “We are running out of your (his) grits.” or “A storm is coming we have to buy food in case we are stuck in the house.” or (me) “Whatever movie you want to see is fine” (this applied when going out for ‘Saturday night date night movie" before Covid’, as well as for ‘Friday night midnight movie on TV’ and ‘Saturday night movie on TV’ since Covid started).

He makes about 90% of our decisions – the remaining ones are financial related as being the one who is trained in same, I generally suggest those to him for approval and then make the decision unless he brings up a reason not to.