That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 22, 2024

As Elizabeth read the morning news, all she could think about was the $500 she gave to the DeSantis campaign.

/// Cher Cerise sits still Reading the News.

Tales of war, plague, and death she’ll peruse.

She’s heard “Life’s just a bowl

of cherries.” How droll!

“Life’s the pits,” is the pith she construes.

Since we taught the women to read,/

We can’t seem to get them to breed !/

They little heed/

To what God has decreed../

Seems like everything’s going to seed.

Mable’s morning ritual is eating her cherries and reading the paper. She is checking if they found where she…er…her husband is buried.

“This recipe for Cherries Jubilee is so confusing. At what point do I set it on fire”?

Judith figured she would have a sure-fire a hit song if she could just … could juust … find a word to rhyme with “pomegranates.” Of course a rhyme for “oranges” — her favorite fruit — was nigh impossible.

Vegetables like rutabagas and kohlrabi were equally hard to rhyme, and somehow did not fit with the merry mood she intended the lyrics to convey.

As she picked from her bowl of cherries, she spit the pits with admirable skill at the newspaper clipping of local-boy-made-good Rudy down in the Valley — with his silly pretentious megaphone.

One pit ricocheted back and hit her on the nose and stuck there. She looked at it with crossed-eyes, and it was if her Muse slapped her in the back of the head and shouted, “Cherries! Cherries, you fool!”

Check please!!

Isn’t that the pits.

Beth didn’t realize that “life is a bowl of cherries” wasn’t meant to be taken literally

The “starving artist” watched hungerly as his model scarfed down his cherries.

She hoarded all the cherries because she heard once you give away your cherry, you can never get it back.

Oh look, someone who is nuttier than me. Reading Dear Abby always makes me feel better about my life.

Oh man, that’s the pits!

Hmmmm. Seabiscuit in the 7th looks pretty good.

And she felt s…. all day afterwards

That dress was white when the painter started.

As Denise read the letter of rejection from John she realized life is not a bowl of cherries!

“Well, whatda ya know, my ex has 7 other wifes.”

Oh, so that’s what happened to my husband.

Victor Gilbert installed an elf on the shelf, that got a very nice pic, to find out who’s been stealing his breakfast.

Reading the News: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Glassware in art" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string News, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3256 (January 22, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .jpg from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. Only work by him used here so far.

Sophie’s next thought, “oh merde”

Elvie figured that if she ate enough cherries hers would grow back.

This is what killed President Zachary Taylor.

Dang it! Steak and eggs still aren’t considered an appropriate breakfast!