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Shops have started to open up after the quarantine, so I treat my family to their first take-away in months. The hype is unbelievable with queues at every store and traffic jams all over the city. It’s like they are giving the food away.
I stop by a walk-in sandwich shop a few days later. Inside, I see two women at the counter who both seem to be in their twenties. As I join the queue, it seems that the first is finished and the second is choosing her salad.
Woman #2: “No salad.”
Worker: “None at all?”
Woman #2: With heaps of attitude “Uh, no! Mayo! I want mayo on that.”
Worker: “Mayonnaise, okay.”
Woman #2: “More. More!”
The worker dutifully fills the sandwich with mayonnaise; at this point, it looks more like cake frosting. A thick layer covers nearly all of the meat and cheese. It looks disgusting and I must be staring, as the second woman glares at me.
Woman #2: “Hey, [Woman #1], you want a cookie?”
She glares at me again.
Woman #1: “Yeah, get me one.”
Woman #2: Insincerely “Oh, no! They only have six left! Oh, well, some people won’t be getting any at all.”
She looks at me like she has won some grand scheme.
Woman #2: “Give me allll six.”
They leave, cackling. I turn to the other worker to pay, utterly bemused.
Worker: “Did you want a cookie? I have more to put out; we didn’t have a chance yet.”
Me: “Not really, thank you. I’m not sure what that was about.”
Worker: “Oh, they come in quite regularly. The one on the left, [Woman #2], scoops the extra mayo out with the cookie and eats it like a dip!”
I got my food and left. I wish I had chosen anything other than mayo.
Definitely NOT my story. I get my subs with creamy Italian & sweet onion!
Jesy Bertz Premium Member 11 months ago
Time to put the bite on him, Gary.
Yakety Sax 11 months ago
From Not Always Right: A Big Mayo No No, Part 6
Shops have started to open up after the quarantine, so I treat my family to their first take-away in months. The hype is unbelievable with queues at every store and traffic jams all over the city. It’s like they are giving the food away.
I stop by a walk-in sandwich shop a few days later. Inside, I see two women at the counter who both seem to be in their twenties. As I join the queue, it seems that the first is finished and the second is choosing her salad.
Woman #2: “No salad.”
Worker: “None at all?”
Woman #2: With heaps of attitude “Uh, no! Mayo! I want mayo on that.”
Worker: “Mayonnaise, okay.”
Woman #2: “More. More!”
The worker dutifully fills the sandwich with mayonnaise; at this point, it looks more like cake frosting. A thick layer covers nearly all of the meat and cheese. It looks disgusting and I must be staring, as the second woman glares at me.
Woman #2: “Hey, [Woman #1], you want a cookie?”
She glares at me again.
Woman #1: “Yeah, get me one.”
Woman #2: Insincerely “Oh, no! They only have six left! Oh, well, some people won’t be getting any at all.”
She looks at me like she has won some grand scheme.
Woman #2: “Give me allll six.”
They leave, cackling. I turn to the other worker to pay, utterly bemused.
Worker: “Did you want a cookie? I have more to put out; we didn’t have a chance yet.”
Me: “Not really, thank you. I’m not sure what that was about.”
Worker: “Oh, they come in quite regularly. The one on the left, [Woman #2], scoops the extra mayo out with the cookie and eats it like a dip!”
I got my food and left. I wish I had chosen anything other than mayo.
Definitely NOT my story. I get my subs with creamy Italian & sweet onion!
TStyle78 11 months ago
Sweet Disguise!
phritzg Premium Member 11 months ago
A long time ago, my Sunday newspaper had enough coupons I could actually use to more than cover the cost of my subscription.
SquidGamerGal 11 months ago
He can still see your vampiric traits, Gary.
Huckleberry Hiroshima Premium Member 11 months ago
A Groucho mask may have worked better.
Sir Isaac 11 months ago
With dogs it’s the Call of The Wild but with humans it the Call of The Donut Shop…..a’wooooooo!
markkahler52 11 months ago
How about a nice steak? Rare. Good for your heart!
Cerabooge 11 months ago
I never before thought about “perk up” being related to the percolator. (is it?)
Frank Burns Eats Worms 11 months ago
It only costume about $10.
artjohn42 11 months ago
The manager’s name wouldn’t be Van Helsing, would it?
David Huie Green LikeNobody'sEverSeen 11 months ago
You can do whatever you want if you’re a master of disguise like Gary.
6turtle9 11 months ago
Fangs, sucker!