Shops have started to open up after the quarantine, so I treat my family to their first take-away in months. The hype is unbelievable with queues at every store and traffic jams all over the city. It’s like they are giving the food away.
I stop by a walk-in sandwich shop a few days later. Inside, I see two women at the counter who both seem to be in their twenties. As I join the queue, it seems that the first is finished and the second is choosing her salad.
Woman #2: “No salad.”
Worker: “None at all?”
Woman #2: With heaps of attitude “Uh, no! Mayo! I want mayo on that.”
Worker: “Mayonnaise, okay.”
Woman #2: “More. More!”
The worker dutifully fills the sandwich with mayonnaise; at this point, it looks more like cake frosting. A thick layer covers nearly all of the meat and cheese. It looks disgusting and I must be staring, as the second woman glares at me.
Woman #2: “Hey, [Woman #1], you want a cookie?”
She glares at me again.
Woman #1: “Yeah, get me one.”
Woman #2: Insincerely “Oh, no! They only have six left! Oh, well, some people won’t be getting any at all.”
She looks at me like she has won some grand scheme.
Woman #2: “Give me allll six.”
They leave, cackling. I turn to the other worker to pay, utterly bemused.
Worker: “Did you want a cookie? I have more to put out; we didn’t have a chance yet.”
Me: “Not really, thank you. I’m not sure what that was about.”
Worker: “Oh, they come in quite regularly. The one on the left, [Woman #2], scoops the extra mayo out with the cookie and eats it like a dip!”
I got my food and left. I wish I had chosen anything other than mayo.
Definitely NOT my story. I get my subs with creamy Italian & sweet onion!
Jesy Bertz Premium Member 9 months ago
Time to put the bite on him, Gary.
Yakety Sax 9 months ago
From Not Always Right: A Big Mayo No No, Part 6
Shops have started to open up after the quarantine, so I treat my family to their first take-away in months. The hype is unbelievable with queues at every store and traffic jams all over the city. It’s like they are giving the food away.
I stop by a walk-in sandwich shop a few days later. Inside, I see two women at the counter who both seem to be in their twenties. As I join the queue, it seems that the first is finished and the second is choosing her salad.
Woman #2: “No salad.”
Worker: “None at all?”
Woman #2: With heaps of attitude “Uh, no! Mayo! I want mayo on that.”
Worker: “Mayonnaise, okay.”
Woman #2: “More. More!”
The worker dutifully fills the sandwich with mayonnaise; at this point, it looks more like cake frosting. A thick layer covers nearly all of the meat and cheese. It looks disgusting and I must be staring, as the second woman glares at me.
Woman #2: “Hey, [Woman #1], you want a cookie?”
She glares at me again.
Woman #1: “Yeah, get me one.”
Woman #2: Insincerely “Oh, no! They only have six left! Oh, well, some people won’t be getting any at all.”
She looks at me like she has won some grand scheme.
Woman #2: “Give me allll six.”
They leave, cackling. I turn to the other worker to pay, utterly bemused.
Worker: “Did you want a cookie? I have more to put out; we didn’t have a chance yet.”
Me: “Not really, thank you. I’m not sure what that was about.”
Worker: “Oh, they come in quite regularly. The one on the left, [Woman #2], scoops the extra mayo out with the cookie and eats it like a dip!”
I got my food and left. I wish I had chosen anything other than mayo.
Definitely NOT my story. I get my subs with creamy Italian & sweet onion!
TStyle78 9 months ago
Sweet Disguise!
phritzg Premium Member 9 months ago
A long time ago, my Sunday newspaper had enough coupons I could actually use to more than cover the cost of my subscription.
SquidGamerGal 9 months ago
He can still see your vampiric traits, Gary.
Huckleberry Hiroshima 9 months ago
A Groucho mask may have worked better.
Sir Isaac 9 months ago
With dogs it’s the Call of The Wild but with humans it the Call of The Donut Shop…..a’wooooooo!
markkahler52 9 months ago
How about a nice steak? Rare. Good for your heart!
Cerabooge 9 months ago
I never before thought about “perk up” being related to the percolator. (is it?)
Frank Burns Eats Worms 9 months ago
It only costume about $10.
artjohn42 9 months ago
The manager’s name wouldn’t be Van Helsing, would it?
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace 9 months ago
You can do whatever you want if you’re a master of disguise like Gary.
6turtle9 9 months ago
Fangs, sucker!