Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for June 02, 2024

yup.

Sympathy from a fellow plant killer.

I planted seeds. They haven’t come up.

He must’ve taken a cue from Opal and got an artificial flower.

He used tap water. Call the chick with that movie.

Beware: Don’t be jealous of what the others have (or seem to be getting). It may not be what you need. It may not even be good for you.

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane Albuquerque New Mexico 87104. This is my confession

Should have put the flower outside.

Eh? How it be?

who knew a flower could be allergic to water

too much, too soon.

This is why all my indoor flowers are now fakes. That, and cats.

So glad I have well water! “City water” is so nasty tasting. All those chemicals in it. No wonder the flower died!

Well, I’m a man with a full blown Lego addiction. In the past few years I am increasingly thankful for the color to my house that Lego flowers have brought into it. God knows they’re the only flowers I can really keep alive.

Why is it that I can’t get grass to grow in my lawn, but it comes up in every crack in the driveway?

that’s me

I find that rain does better than me giving a plant enough water and plenty of Miracle Gro during a dry spell. A friend used call rain holy water for that reason.