Back when I had a horse, I would occasionally see a horsefly on him. Those suckers (or, more precisely, blood-suckers) are big—at least an inch long and fat! Even so, I would immediately swat them in spite of the grossness of squished bug (and blood if I didn’t spot them before they’d started sucking) all over my hand—this was my horse, my great big fur-baby, and I wasn’t about to let some nasty insect hurt him. Of course, I then grabbed some soap and rushed over to the hose to wash my hands.
Last day of Camp SBJ for our counselors-in-training group, before we headed back to Camp G. We celebrated by going swimming in the camp’s nice, cool pool. The horseflies were horrible, though. Over the course of a couple of hours, we swatted close to a hundred of the bloodsuckers. Before leaving, we gathered all the corpses we could find to leave in the lifeguard chair.
I once killed a horsefly with my flag stick. Before accurate navigation systems, we used to step off swaths for cropdusters, then wave flags for them sight on. While in the middle of a field, a big horsefly came in and made three quick laps around my head looking for a place to land. Then it zoomed out about 20 yds. before turning around for another attack. I choked up on my flag stick, and when it made the next attack, swung and hit it perfectly to center field. It sounded like Mickey Mantle hitting a home run.That’s about how long ago that happened too.
Calvin must be quite a shot if he can hit horse fly with just one shot. Maybe he has mastered the skill by standing there with one hand in his hip pocket and aiming with both eyes open. . . .
I wonder just how many times that fly could have bitten Mom if she had, in fact, waited for Calvin. Most likely, she slapped the back of her own head while wondering “Why the heck did he run off?”
In 1939 I was give a water pistol. To load it you put the front in water & pull back a long wire with a ring on the end. My mom was kneeling in her garden weeding around flowers. A few squirts at her butt & I didn’t see the water pistol for a month. It was a very hot humid summer day & Mom was more surprised than angry.
codycab 3 months ago
Horsefly? No reaction. Calvin with a toy gun? Freak out. Makes sense.
dadthedawg Premium Member 3 months ago
Holler, “Stop, or I’ll shoot…..”
Bilan 3 months ago
Now Calvin has an excuse for not offering to help with the gardening every again.
snsurone76 3 months ago
Mom is scared of a toy (it IS a toy, isn’t it?)?
BigDaveGlass 3 months ago
Any excuse, Calvin……
LeslieBark 3 months ago
Back when I had a horse, I would occasionally see a horsefly on him. Those suckers (or, more precisely, blood-suckers) are big—at least an inch long and fat! Even so, I would immediately swat them in spite of the grossness of squished bug (and blood if I didn’t spot them before they’d started sucking) all over my hand—this was my horse, my great big fur-baby, and I wasn’t about to let some nasty insect hurt him. Of course, I then grabbed some soap and rushed over to the hose to wash my hands.
Blu Bunny 3 months ago
Must not had the garden hose nearby, but the gun does add to the punch.
win.45mag 3 months ago
Big horseflies are best killed with a barrage of water balloons
tremaine53 3 months ago
“Finally! A chance to shoot mom in the back of the head! Score!”
sandpiper 3 months ago
Mom is right. Even a rubber sticker gun can be dangerous in Cal’s hands.
Huckleberry Hiroshima 3 months ago
You don’t need an excuse to shoot mom now days, Calvin. You shouldn’t do it, but still, no need to make up insects on her or whatever.
tcumming 3 months ago
I thought he’d gone to get a saddle for that horse
John Wiley Premium Member 3 months ago
Last day of Camp SBJ for our counselors-in-training group, before we headed back to Camp G. We celebrated by going swimming in the camp’s nice, cool pool. The horseflies were horrible, though. Over the course of a couple of hours, we swatted close to a hundred of the bloodsuckers. Before leaving, we gathered all the corpses we could find to leave in the lifeguard chair.
Pete.Keillor 3 months ago
I once killed a horsefly with my flag stick. Before accurate navigation systems, we used to step off swaths for cropdusters, then wave flags for them sight on. While in the middle of a field, a big horsefly came in and made three quick laps around my head looking for a place to land. Then it zoomed out about 20 yds. before turning around for another attack. I choked up on my flag stick, and when it made the next attack, swung and hit it perfectly to center field. It sounded like Mickey Mantle hitting a home run.That’s about how long ago that happened too.
Just-me 3 months ago
I don’t blame mom. There’s no telling how Calvin might have modified the dart gun.
SquidGamerGal 3 months ago
There’s no horseflies, is there?
Count Olaf Premium Member 3 months ago
Thank God! For a minute there The Count was afraid this was going to become an episode of the tabloid TV streaming series “I Shot My Mother”.
mywifeslover 3 months ago
My first thought was that M*A*S*H episode swatting a fly on Frank Burns’ head. Did you get him? Get what?
BJDucer 3 months ago
Calvin must be quite a shot if he can hit horse fly with just one shot. Maybe he has mastered the skill by standing there with one hand in his hip pocket and aiming with both eyes open. . . .
uniquename 3 months ago
You can buy a “swatter gun” like that. They’re not very effective, but they’re a lot of fun to use.
www.basspro.Com/shop/en/bass-pro-shops-flyshooter-the-original-bug-gun
rshive 3 months ago
Calvin looks for fun wherever he can find it.
Angry Indeed Premium Member 3 months ago
“Hold still. This won’t hurt a bit!”
Sun 3 months ago
Calvin’s squirt gun that shoots out water isn’t going to cause you to melt, Mom.
eced52 3 months ago
You took so long it got bored and flew away.
jvo 3 months ago
Someone’s lucky Calvin isn’t a Boy Scout.
mindjob 3 months ago
Calvin realizes he doesn’t need his Death Ray Blaster
ladykat 3 months ago
Don’t do it, Calvin!
Calvins Brother 3 months ago
A missed opportunity to practice his aim.
DKHenderson 3 months ago
I wonder just how many times that fly could have bitten Mom if she had, in fact, waited for Calvin. Most likely, she slapped the back of her own head while wondering “Why the heck did he run off?”
kathleenhicks62 3 months ago
BAD idea there Calvin.
Banjo Gordy Premium Member 3 months ago
In 1939 I was give a water pistol. To load it you put the front in water & pull back a long wire with a ring on the end. My mom was kneeling in her garden weeding around flowers. A few squirts at her butt & I didn’t see the water pistol for a month. It was a very hot humid summer day & Mom was more surprised than angry.
kamoolah 3 months ago
What can be, unburdened by what has been.
rockyridge1977 3 months ago
No longer target practice…..the real thang!!!!
Strawberry King 3 months ago
Horseflies are real tough customers.