Herman by Jim Unger for July 12, 2024

I can see this one on Judge Judy (the cranky old lady)

He already got a leg up

That’s my Uncle’s pit-bull! I greeted Uncle John with a handshake and his dog placed both of our hands in his mouth. A three way shake. It was wet and gentle.

He’s just pulling your leg.

And he smells that a lot.

OK, first, let’s start with those beautiful chairs. Wow. Now, let’s move on to the fact that I would prefer THAT, to him trying to procreate with my leg.

Yep, yep, yep, took Doggie to the zoo, and voila! Two new leopard skin chair covers. Plus, a WHOPPING bill from the zoo, but, oh, well!

It is true they can smell fear but more importantly they can taste your fist when you shove it down their throats. Works like a charm if you’re not afraid.

This would be funnier if the guy were hemorrhaging.

Hope his chinos are drip dry.

He should be able to taste the fear by now.

You clearly overstayed your welcome.

A very old Bob Newheart comedy routine.

It’s hard to relax when he’s got his leg in his mouth.

It’s hard to relax with an 800-pound dog staring you in the face.

He has reasons to be concerned. It looks like the huge dog has already gnawed off the owner’s legs.

Before they sat down:

“This is my dog, Jaws. Don’t worry, he won’t bite.”

Doggie likes him. Even liking him better with ketchup.

Did someone say make a wish?

You try relaxing with your leg in his mouth!