Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for July 21, 2024

I hate it when there’s a corpse in my bathtub dissolving in slaked lime and someone wants to take a bath.

My true love one time

Told me she loved another

Her love is now all sublime

in some pit or other

One can’t make bathtub gin out of that.

Well, it happens.

There’s a solution for everything.

At least a corpse will dissolve. A transmission will last forever.

Viruses, rather than electrons?

On my 1990’s Tauruses, I constantly had to replace transducers.

Frog Applause™ channels a 1968 Falstaff beer commercial?

And she only wanted to take a shower.

Hey, drive a stake through the lime for a little extra taste!!

I remember there being a photo on Rotten.com of a man who had died while bathing and lay there until discovered a week or two later. His bones slid right out of his blackened flesh. Was THAT ever sickening!!

They always blame the cleaners, when it was THEIR mess.

One of my pet peeves is when that corpse in the bathtub is drowning in bright red blood (like Rita was in the Dexter Showtime tv series). That’s almost as bad as when an elevator door opens and a river of blood gushes out.

Ma’am, are you sure you’re not at the U of T morgue farm? Because, waking up there and wanting a bath would require a visit from the authorities, who are liable to ask a bunch of inconvenient questions.

Mmmm … dontcha just love the smell of calcium hydroxide in the morning …?

ah slaked lime tenderizer

It makes the wait way too long.

I lived in a Savannah apartment building with a colorful history. Once, a murderer burned a corpse in an apartment bathtub. “If it is this apartment, there will be a me-shaped hole in the wall as I blast through it and run all the way back to New York,” I said. Fortunately it wasn’t even on the same floor.

Volcanics and lime deposits.

Throw the virgin in the volcanic mountains.

I just stopped in to see what condition T’s condition is in …!

( rest easy Teresa, we’ve got this )