Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 07, 2025

I heard that there are some wildebeests nearby who are friendly and polite. They’re very good gnus.

Are you familiar with the expression “Bad things come in threes”? IMHO, they don’t. We just simply divide the lot into threes.

Apparently, Rat got fired from the coffee shop again.

Pig, the eternal optimist!

It could have been worse.

There could have been no good news!

Pig, give Pigita a call. Rat, go get drunk.

Nothing is ever so bad that it can’t get worse.

After bad news like that, it would be good news that there’s no more bad news.

So where are they gonna live now?

I expected something humorous.

Give it two weeks. Then the really bad news arrives

The sun ‘ll come up tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar, that tomorrow there’ll be sun. (-8

There won’t be any good news for the next 4 years.

We all do, Rat.

You need the law firm Dewey Cheatem and How

I read that in two weeks the IRS will be abolished, crime will be down, and the economy will be up.

Should’ve asked for the good news first.

What if he’d asked for the bad news first?

Are Rat and Pig married? It’s possible for unmarried people to have joint ownership of a car and a house, but not to file taxes jointly. “We’re being audited” seems to imply that, though I suppose it could be an audit of a business or non-profit that they both own.

That’s bad news, and bad news. I’ll give you the bad news first

Sometimes the good news is just that the bad news will end.

From the “No news is good news” school of thought.

“I regret to say that I have two pieces of bad news for you.”

“Give it to me straight, Doc, I can take it.”

“First, I’m afraid you have cancer.”

“Oh, wow, what a downer. What’s the other one?”

“Sorry to say, you’ve got Alzheimer’s.”

“Man, that sucks. Well, at least I don’t have cancer.”

We all except more good news, but should know better.

eddie lawrence—“The Old Philosopher”