The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 17, 2025

The audience will flip!

I guess they won’t get a rise out of him.

He’s certainly no “Fluffy”!

Can only sing in A Flap Major.

Sing with confidence. No waffling.

Is his name “Jack” as in flap?!

From the judges comments, I’d say he’s also toast.

send him away, he’s a crepe

It’s time to IHOP outa there.

But has a syrupy voice.

Flat as a Pancake. He should probably Head East.

If you think he’s thin, you should meet his French cousin crepe.

He was born and bread for this.

He/she identifies sexually as pan. As in cake.

“Sorry kid, you’re a naan starter.”

What a pita, he wanted to be a gyro (pronounced yeero)

Only unleavened from Jewish and Catholic performers.

The judges waffled about whether he would move on to the finals.

A couple of years ago, a team of computer scientists with apparently nothing better to do with their time acquired topographical maps of both Kansas and a pancake and compared them for average deviation from the mean surface level. It turned out that Kansas was, in fact, flatter than a pancake. But, even so, not the flattest of the states. When the same analysis was run on all 50, Florida (average elevation of 100 feet ASL), it turned out to be even flatter.

They’ve seen butter. I want to see what acts syrup next?