Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for January 22, 2025

And since he did not have a bowl he was very, very hungry.

Grampa Bear, and he very much liked little blond girls!

Tell me about this fourth bear.

Love the look on the kid’s face.

Goldilunch.

There always was. It was just edited out for kids. Now he’s permanent.

See also “The Fourth Bear: A Nursery Crime (Jack Spratt Investigates)” by Jasper Fforde

And the forth bear was from the government and was there to help Goldilocks.

The 4th Bear was busy dropping balls in Soldier Field.

Goldilocks and the Four Bears: A Tale of Terror

The forest whispered warnings, but Goldilocks heard only the growl of her own hunger. Drawn by the scent of simmering porridge, she stumbled upon the bears’ house. The door creaked open, as if inviting her to sin.

Inside, she devoured their food, her greedy slurps echoing in the silent room. First too hot, then too cold, and finally, just right—she ate it all. But it wasn’t enough. Upstairs, she clawed through their beds, disturbing their order. Too hard, too soft, then just right—her satisfaction left chaos in its wake. She drifted into a shallow, uneasy sleep.

The shadows deepened, and a fourth bowl, untouched, began to quake on the table. Goldilocks didn’t see the fourth chair in the corner, shrouded in shadow, nor the faint glint of eyes that had been watching her all along.

A sound pierced her dream—low, guttural, and inhuman. She woke to darkness thicker than she remembered. Footsteps, heavy and deliberate, thudded from the hall.

“Who’s there?” Her voice trembled, swallowed by the suffocating silence.

The air shifted, and a growl, ancient and primal, rumbled from the doorway. Not three, but four figures stood there now, their eyes burning like embers. The fourth was taller, darker—a predator eclipsing its kin. Its maw dripped with saliva as it stepped forward, a growl rolling into a guttural snarl.

“You dared to touch what is ours,” it hissed, its voice like gravel and smoke. The words slithered into her ears, clawing at her sanity.

Goldilocks tried to run, but the floor beneath her seemed alive, sticky and unrelenting. The walls closed in, the air thickened with the stench of decay. Claws reached for her, tearing, dragging her into darkness.

When the bears dined that night, the fourth bear smiled. Dinner was just right.

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”

Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs (2012)

Mo Willems (b. 1968) American animator, voice actor and author.

Say, where is Gent? Shouldn’t he be commenting on this? Hmmm…do we ever see him and the 4th Bear at the same time? Enquiring [sic] minds want to know.

And Goldilocks became porridge, cooked just right.

Ooo! The Bad News [Bear]!

…One bear to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them…

Oh, good.