Herman by Jim Unger for February 24, 2025

Not exactly double your pleasure, double the fun

I think " “yum yum yummy, gum gum gum” would be better.

They had to change their motto after getting into trouble over their previous motto, “Put Gum in your Gas Tank.”

I wonder how much someone was paid to come up with that slogan.

I just felt a sudden urge to spend my life savings on it.

Shouldn’t it be “Yum yum yummy, gum gum gummy”?

Label Warning: “For Mastication Only. Do not swallow for your Tum Tum Tummy.”

I wonder how he’s going to Wrigley out of this mess up.

The ‘creative team’ couldn’t even get their own hideous idea articulated correctly. I think we’ve located the right department for massive budget cuts.

Then there is that famous slogan “Nutty crunch, nutty crunch, you’re nut gonna like it!”

Is it any worse than the insurance company slogan, “Liberty, Liberty, Liberty”. If you say it 3 times it sinks in, I guess.

Who chew? You chew! Ach chew.

Well Boss, it was a deadlock for over six hours with half the team voting for ‘Gum Bubble’. I finally had to step in and show them why you made me team leader.

And they worked overtime to do it.

Are we still in the brainstorming stage?:

As a jingle, it’s rather catchy, but as a name? Time to get a new creative team.

Yummy yummy yummy, I got gum in my tummy. Sounds like a song

I’m assuming they’ve been fired recently.

Well someone already came up with….

Do, do-do, do, do

Do, do-do, do, do

Ah, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Baby

Always got a mouthful of those sweet things to say

Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Baby

Chewy’s full of sugar, and I love her that way

Ah, ooh, I love to kiss her

Love to hold her, love to miss her

Love to scold her, love to love her like I do

Ooey little Chewy

Don’t know what you doin’ to me

But you do it to me what I want you to

Ooh Chewy

Hey! Hey!

Do, do-do, do, do

Do, do-do, do, do

Ah, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Baby

Every time you love me, it’s a real sugar treat

Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy (ba-ba) Chewy, Chewy, Baby

Love me little Chewy ’cause you do it so sweet

Ah, ooh, I love to kiss her

Love to hold her, love to miss her

Love to scold her, love to love her like I do

Ooey little Chewy

Don’t know what you doin’ to me

But you do it to me what I want you to

Want you to

Whoa, yeah, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Baby

And I’m ’bout to get you wrapped up so very fine

Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Baby

Ooey, gooey Chewy, chew me out of my mind

Ah, ooh, I love to kiss her

Love to hold her, love to miss her

Love to scold her, love to love her like I do

Ooey little Chewy

Don’t know what you doin’ to me

But you do it to me what I want you to

AhI

Do, do-do, do, do

Do, do-do, do, do, ah, Chewy, ba-ba, whoa, Chewy, ba-ba

Whoa, whoa, ba-ba

Whoa, whoa, ba-ba

Whoa, wam ba-ba

Woah, wam ba-ba

Whoa, wam ba-ba

Woah, wam ba-ba

Everybody, wam ba-ba

Whoa, wam ba-ba

Woah, wam ba-ba

Whoa, wam ba-ba

Woah, wam ba-ba

Yeah, yeah, ba-ba

Woah, wam ba-ba

Woah, wam ba-ba

Everybody, wam ba-ba

Woa

That is better than “Chewy McChewface”.

“Gomu Gomu no Pisutoru Shotto!”

I can believe it. Just like ‘new and improved’.

That’s better than the Jardiance commercials. It’s hard to believe they actually paid someone to write those lyrics!

They were drinking rum at the time.

He’s got a little bunny on his lapel.

They have lost their creative gene!

That one should rank alongside such classics as, “Can happy mouth happy.”

Couldn’t be worse than “When it’s Hillshire, eatin’s nice.”

And yes, that was a real slogan they used.

Fire the creative team and get me some teens, they can at least walk and chew at the same time.

Your creative team is attempting to appeal to MAGA-Toids! Nuff said.

A winnuh!!