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Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for July 20, 2012
Transcript:
Zipper: I don't really get why you're obsessing on Alex, man... yo, you're a best-selling author with a killer crib! You must have the ladies pounding on your door! Jeff: You might think. The truth is, dawg, I'm already behind on my mortgage payments. Zipper: So? Jeff: So chicks can see when you're underwater.
BE THIS GUY over 12 years ago
Who didnât see this coming?
Linguist over 12 years ago
Ah, the storm before the lull ! Jeff will be back with the folks sooner than you can say Red Rascal Redux.
Buzza Wuzza over 12 years ago
really funny
King_Shark over 12 years ago
Time for the Red Rascal to go to Syria and help the CIA/Al Qaeda against the legitimate Syrian government. Heâll both ruin the terrorist campaign and get a few more books out if it,
Blood-Poisoning Vermin over 12 years ago
Chicks can sense a lot more than that. And itâs all the stuff I wish I could hide.
BE THIS GUY over 12 years ago
Weâre creating⊠an ownership society in this country, where more Americans than ever will be able to open up their door where they live and say, welcome to my house, welcome to my piece of property. â President George W. Bush, October 2004.
The Nihilist over 12 years ago
You couldnât hide all his problems under two coats of paint
Linguist over 12 years ago
I had a feeling this was going to be bait for the trolls. Canât wait ( really I can ) for what a certain outre Reich non-commissioned officer has to regurgitate.
arye uygur over 12 years ago
So, a propos to yesterdayâs comments, Trudeau did NOT assign the thought bubbles to the wrong character â Jeff is REALLY saying this stuff about his niece.
Also, I thought jeff bought his mansion outright, without a mortgage.
AKHenderson Premium Member over 12 years ago
Underestimated those royalty checks, eh?
thesnowleopard Premium Member over 12 years ago
Blew his entire advance on the down payment, did he? Heâd better hope his book sells and he doesnât have anything in his contract where he has to pay back the advance if the book tanks.
thirdguy over 12 years ago
Might be a good time to downsize!
YatInExile over 12 years ago
The only babes pounding on his door will be from the banks and the sheriffâs office.
Beleck3 over 12 years ago
lol, so many Americans are clueless. fascinating to watch the comments here. just proves how well âsellingâ works in Idiot America.
Thanks to St. Ronnie, the scam is working.
enjoy the ride, folks, you asked for it, you got it.lol
MiepR over 12 years ago
Are you talking about Arpaio? Heâs hardly unbiased.
Beleck3 over 12 years ago
amazing Red Rascal never bought the âcribâ outright. thought these âkindâ were smarter than that. lol. which explains everything, doesnât it. lol
JAPrufrock over 12 years ago
@Guard SGTWhat were the 2 words that Woodie Guthrie had pasted to his guitars?
peabodyboy over 12 years ago
Reminds me of the great American philosopher, George Carlin.
âHereâs all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.â
Jeffâs stupidity could fill a dozen funny farms.
rpmdbs over 12 years ago
Looks like Jeff got a mortgage left over from the Dodd-Frank scandal. Strange how Dodd never did release the sweetheart deal he got from the now-defunct Countrywide.
Tea_Pea over 12 years ago
Srsly, Jeff? How long did that last? Six months?
kaffekup over 12 years ago
Thereâs no point in responding â whenever I see the name I just skip down to the next post. You wonât get an intelligent response and he loves to be insulted.
nimbleswitch over 12 years ago
Iâm not sure Jeff ever really left the cellar. He day-dreamed about the Rascalâhe could still be down there day dreaming about having written a novel, having bought the mansion, and even having this conversation. These two are both losers. Day dreaming showing off to another loser is just about as loser as you can get.
But if Jeff really did publish a novel and buy the mansion, heâll be back in the basement before September. And his publisher will have dropped him. Heâll probably owe them money for advances, too. Poor Rick.
jpharris over 12 years ago
Jeff/Red Rascal is Alexâs uncle. I do hope that his obsession is only the idea that sheâs married and not that he wishes he could marry her.
Aslan Balaur over 12 years ago
No, we saw this a mile away, sorry to disillusion you.
smalltownbrown over 12 years ago
Maybe Jeffâs upset because he wanted the Red Rascal to win over Alex in a future romance novel (he could try another genre.) Do alter-egos have the same moral constraints? Just sayinââŠ
FriscoLou over 12 years ago
I see where Sheriff Yo-Yo is being brought up on federal racism charges ⊠and everyone knows, Racism is a crime.
diggitt over 12 years ago
This is so bizarre. Here we readers know the familyâs relationships backwards and forwards and GT himself messes them up? That is really and truly WEIRD.
diggitt over 12 years ago
And speaking of weird, what is it with GuardSGTâs obsession with Obamaâs stepfather? For the last couple years, this âBarry Soeteroâ trope has been part of his gangâs verbal masturbation. Whatâs the point?
FWIW, something like seven presidents were not born with the name under which they were ultimately sworn inâslightly more Republicans in the group, most recently Jerry Ford, who used his stepfatherâs name. But, like, so what?
Apparently we are to assume that calling Barack âBarryâ is either insulting or cute. Since Gerald Ford (who was born neither Gerald nor Ford) called himself Jerry, I donât get whatâs so awful about it. Can anyone explain this BS to me?
tomielm over 12 years ago
A famous teacher once said, âThere is none so blind as he who will(s) not (to) see.â So those of you who respond to Guard SGT are getting your daily exercise. Unfortunately, itâs in futility. But exercise can be fun, so what the heckâŠ..
corzak over 12 years ago
âWe used to say âYouâre entitled to your own opinion, but not to your own facts.â Now we are all entitled to our own facts, and conservative media use this right to immerse their audience in a total environment of pseudo-facts and pretend information.A whole alternative knowledge system, with its own facts, its own history, its own laws of economics.The conservative shift to ever more extreme, ever more fantasy-based ideology has ominous real-world consequences for American society . . .â â David Frum, the George W. Bush speechwriter who coined the phrase âaxis of evilâ
basshwy over 12 years ago
in Nazi Germany the business owners owned their businesses and every one but the slaves made a profit there. but no real regulation in either one. In all cases you and me would lose as is happening now with the Plutocrats who own both parties and most of what goes on in our country. But not full blown dictatorship yet.
Well put. Perhaps Generalissimo Lord Vader El-Presedente Romney Will be the saviour of the US Banana Republik?âŠAt least I know of a GRD SGT that certainly thinks so. Does he think he will be better off under that regime, do you think?
King_Shark over 12 years ago
Anyone who has studied WWII history knows the Nazis were extreme right.
Alms4Thorby over 12 years ago
They can also see when you are a dork.
Nise over 4 years ago
Ew. You are not a Spanish Hapsburg. You donât get to hook up with your half niece.