Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for February 08, 2020

I still say extraterrestrial we’re behind it because JFK was going to reveal what happened at Roswell.

It was Onasis! He wanted Jackie all along!

They were all paid actors.

I really despise the appalling lack of critical thinking in the CT mind.

Jimmy Hoffa did it.

Lt Columbo would have gone after the one who had the most to gain . . .

. . . the one that taught us all to pray, saying:

“Hey, Hey, LBJ,

How many kids did you kill today?"

Please, everyone! My humble, but usually correct, opinion is: it was a suicide.

Occam’s Razor says the second panel is true! /s

JFK shot JFK ! Timetravelers from Red dwarf did it.

I also want to thank the many thousands involved in the fake moon landing for keeping their silence for so long.

“When after all, it was you and me.”

Neither

Nah…it was the IRA, after Kennedy reneged on his secret promise to nuke London.

Like the Mob said to Jimmy Hoffa, “Hey if we can whack a president of a country then whacking a president of a union ain’t nothing.”

Why, in the first panel, are the shots numbered oddly?

And you’d be amazed at how many people would have bought into the 2nd panel back in the day… nowadays, they are sitting in their rockers, listening to Alex Jones, and yelling at clouds….

The KKK did it because he’s Catholic.

It was all crisis actors, ask infowars and all the other nutty conspiracy theorists

No, No, it was the Klingons, because JFK wanted us to go to the Moon, and if we did, we’d discover the secret moon-base they had built with the help of the Nazis and the Daleks! So to slow down the moon flight, they hired some Cylons and Replicants to work together with the CIA and the Illuminati to persuade the Terran Empire to send over some doubles to impersonate Kennedy and Connolly, so the Mirror Universe Johnson and Nixon could conspire to get us into a war in Vietnam… Clear now???

JFK is dead? Wait! When did this happen? No!! That guy owes me money. Crap! …tsk

I will always believe that the Russians were behind it, as well as the assassinations of RFK and King. What better way to disable your enemy then to eliminate their best leaders, get them involved in a costly proxy war to lower their morale, and, if that fails, use a glitch in their constitution to help elect a mentally deficient horse’s a** to their highest office?

Kinda sad to see that Killary hasn’t been blamed …. yet …. Guess those dotards are sleeping in today.

Used to give the conspiracy theorist an ear. It was fun to imagine. Problem one that all contradict each other but are all connected so they all did and didn’t do it. Problem two they always have a suspect FIRST and build evidence towards the suspect. Weird and impossible. 1999 the fun ended with Y2K. When I was part of a group my testing our patches for our y2k fix. Outside of work, everyone else was an expert on how bad thing was going to get and we are doomed. I was personnel attacked as part of the conspiracy. When everything rolled over with very few exception no apologies. Until

JFK is being kept alive in a vegetative coma in a secret ward of Walter Reed Hospital. I was told this in August 1968 and haven’t heard differently, so it must be true, still. Such is the mind of the conspiracy theorist.

JFK would have had a difficult time surviving until 1968 with all his medical issues even if he was not assassinated that day.

Sometimes things are as they seem to be.

Things haven’t changed. Conspiracy Theorists obviously have no use for Occam’s Razor. The more convoluted, the more likely!!

Forgot Hillary ..

LIES!! LIES!!!! LIES!!!!! IT WAS JUSTIN BIEBER, YOU FOOLS!

There are only 2 kinds of aliens,illegal and people born after 1985!

I heard from a highly reliable source that “Cruz-Dad” was involved.

I still say it was LBJ

This much we do know: there was no shortage of people (in positions of power) who wanted him dead back then, of that there is no doubt. Their hatred of the man is no secret. Draw your own conclusions.

I can’t take it anymore. I must confess. I did it. I was hiding in Umbrella Man’s umbrella. I was the logical choice. Who would suspect a six month old baby. Damn, good shooting, if I do say so myself.

The problem with those who assume the Warren Commission was right, is that they have not read the government’s own documents, which include the 26 volume “Hearings and Exhibits,” among other documents released at various times over the years. Sadly, Allen Dulles was right when he said in a commission meeting, “people don’t read,” when confronted by another WC member about how their own evidence did not support their conclusions well.

I’m disappointed in Trudeau. As a Yale grad from the old days, he should know better.

Yet More Conspiracy Proof: If Oswald had Really been alone in the Book Depository, he’d have had a Better Shot earlier while the motorcade was moving Toward him on Houston Street.

Obviously, he had to Wait until the other shooters also had good shooting angles.

And, this theory totally Ignores the Grassy Knoll.

In Gene Roddenberry’s proposal for “Star Trek 2,” JFK was shot by Spock, in an attempt to restore the proper timeline after the Klingons altered it.

And…The NSA created the Selfie Fad, to keep updated photos on all of us.

The Onion topped Trudeau with their article from Our Dumb Century: Kennedy Slain by CIA, Mafia, Castro, LBJ, Teamsters, FreemasonsPresident Shot 129 Times from 43 Different AnglesThe article lists the various groups of hitmen, including mafia hitmen shooting from the grassy knoll, CIA agents firing from an office building, Cubans shooting from an overpass, a Hoffa-linked hit squad firing from perches atop an oak tree, a “lone nut” firing from the Texas Book Depository, a consortium of jealous husbands shooting from various spots on the sidewalk, among others, concluding with “…and Texas Gov. John Connally lunged at the president from within the limousine itself, slitting the president’s throat with a combat knife.” It goes one to note that “Officers found several hundred weapons within a four-block radius of the shooting site, including telescope-sighted Weatherby Magnum rifles, Italian bolt-action 6.5mm carbines, Thompson submachine guns, Kalishnikov assault rifles, and one ray-gun.”

Almost as many conspirators and mysterious deaths as the nut-cases attribute to the Clintons.

One of the best ways to hide a crime like that is to promote all the crazy theories so that the truth gets dismissed too. For example, the hypothesis that the WTC buildings were brought down by a particle-beam weapon fired from space.

Oswald gave no one any impression that he was a psychopath, nor was he alleged to have been under the influence of tranqs on the day, so the testing of that bolt-action Carcano rifle by marksmen afterwards, the results of which were considered sufficient evidence of Oswald having been the sole shooter, didn’t really replicate the conditions under which Oswald would have been laboring.

To replicate the conditions would have required the test marksmen to have received adrenaline jabs to simulate the nervous twitchiness Oswald, a non-psychopath, would have felt in the circumstances. He would have been pretty jittery, making it hard even to work the bolt smoothly, much less calm his heart and breathing enough to aim accurately, and get off 3 well-aimed shots in 8 seconds.

(from the “Torygraph” in 2007)In fresh tests of the Mannlicher-Carcano bolt-action weapon, supervised by the Italian army, it was found to be impossible for even an accomplished marksman to fire the shots quickly enough.

[W]hen the Italian team test-fired the identical model of gun, they were unable to load and fire three shots in less than 19 seconds – suggesting that a second gunman must have been present in Dealey Plaza, central Dallas, that day.