Drabble by Kevin Fagan for December 15, 2022

now i know how the “5.. Months of Billllls!” part, of “the 12 Pains of Christmas” got its name.

Honey has been naughty

Could has been worse. At least Ralph beat the Porch Pirates. …

First UPS the FEDEX all that’s left is the mailman. Ralph your wife has been busy.

Amazon is always busy at this time of year. I see packages delivered to my condo every day.

Delivery services don’t even bother to ring the doorbell, or knock, anymore.

The worst is those that place the package on the front edge of the porch, visible to the entire neighborhood.

geeezzz…that’s MY house, too!

They knock?

And the thing is that it’s not going to stop until the 24th, Ralph!

Everyday is Christmas! I got some great deals on things I’ve wanted for a long time. I have a mail chime for the mailbox and motion detectors for delivery people. What happened is they put packages by the garage door and I ran over some once. That is when I went looking for solutions.

I am the Queen of Amazon! Post-panic pandemic I still prefer shopping by look and click.

Yeah right, like delivery people knock. Heck, they don’t even ring my doorbell when they leave the package RIGHT BELOW THE DOORBELL!

Where’s Wally? What if there’s a Badger in one of those packages?

It’s like Christmas year round….the excitement of opening the front door and finding a package with YOUR name on it.

Looks like my house!

The actual product weight of all those boxes is probably 3 lb. Mostly Styrofoam peanuts and filling paper.

Delivery people don’t knock anymore.

Who’s there?

The end should be near Ralph, the credit card should just about reach it’s limit.

Looks like Boxing Day.

’Tis the season!

Stop spying on my house!

But they rarely knock, and if they don’t go all the way to the front door, the Ring doorbell doesn’t go off either.

Half the time I’ll get the notice from Amazon that something has been delivered and I have no idea its out there.

Santa could use those guys.

They never knock. They usually don’t walk the extra steps to the front door, instead leaving the package up against the GARAGE DOOR, ensuring that you can back over it before discovering the delivery!

Lots of comments saying the contrary but around here (southern NM) the FedEx and UPS people usually do still knock on the door. We’ve just moved into town this year (suburban type neighborhood), we used to live out amongst the farmers and fields and the delivery people would honk when they drove up and if you hadn’t come out by the time they were done retrieving your package from the back of their truck, then they’d knock on the door

Get them before the porch pirates do!

He couldn’t see the guy coming with more boxes when he was getting the first batch?