Frazz by Jef Mallett for December 23, 2022

Montgomery Ward.

Or Major Henry Livingstone. Take your pick.

From childhood on I considered Rudolph to be a sacrilegious and impossible violation of the Old True Faith. Unlike Santa Claus, Rudolph is not real!!

Don’t forget Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by Gene Autry. His biggest song ever.

See my radio piece about the poem: A Visit from Inclement Verse <http://www.howlandbolton.com/essays/read_more.php?sid=505>

And as for THAT reindeer…

Redolph the Rude-nosed reindeer,

Had a very naughty nose.

And if you ever saw it,

You would blush down to your toes.

All of the other reindeer

Teased till he broke out in hives,

They wouldn’t let poor Redolph

Anywhere near their reindeer wives!

Nobody ever talks about Olive. The other reindeer.

Per the song…Santa was a terrible manager. He allowed on-site bullying by the other reindeer and the little brownnosers jumped on the ‘praise Rudolph game’ when Santa needed him to save the day. Want to guess how soon they went back to bullying Rudolph and Santa went back to his corner suite and ignored it all.

Tom Lehrer: A CHRISTMAS CAROL…goggle it and listen, if you dare ;-)

I’d rather credit Robert May than the department store, even though that’s who he wrote it for.

Watch Hallmark Channel Christmas movie, “Trial before Christmas” about who really wrote Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Seems that availability of information is confusing to some.

More Xmas humbug.

Fun Fact: Realistically, all Santa’s reindeer are female. Look it up. Female reindeer keep their antlers through the winter and the males don’t.

And so, we say goodbye to Christmas cheer, as the sun sets on the trampled remains of a once favorite icon of our happiest and holiest holiday. Irony, sarcasm, even a sexual reference to bring the subject to a lower level, all to demonstrate what could have been said in one sentence and without malice, i.e. I don’t believe in Santa Clause.

“But do you recall the most famous reindeer at all?”

How famous could he have been, if you have to ask whether we remember him?

And only female reindeer retain their antlers at this time !