Frazz by Jef Mallett for February 24, 2024

When you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer.

Percolators made good coffee.

What is “schlitz”? In this funny language I mean. ;-) Of course I know was ein Schlitz ist… But “schlitz”???

I bought all my tumblers in gas stations.

What’s wrong with having a closet full of Tervis tumblers?

The good old days are always the days behind us — almost at any age. I’ve even heard teenagers reminisce about the simpler times of elementary school.

Once there was a man walking on a dock. As he walked he counted the spaces between the boards. He kept walking and walking and counting and walked right off into the water.

When you’re out of slits you’re out of pier.

Black Label.

He has become more feisty since he started making his own Horseradish Sauce. Tie your hat down!

That’s true, kid, but in the old days, you could just spend all day adventuring outside without helicopter parents.

In some ways, now is better. But in some ways, then was better.

Just take me back to before the traitor came down the escalator.

Schlitz was HORRID but Falstaff was WORSE.

Stop making fun of your grandpa. There wasn’t always computers and foods there are now, used to be black and white t.v.s, we remember them.

What, no old Flintstones jelly glasses?

The kid reminds me of when my tenth grade class and I were ‘doing the dozens’ during a recess. They hit me with you’re old [only 45] you’re fat [a bit of a tummy for catching crumbs] you’re bow legged [yes, but gracefully], and you’re bald [it’s a firebreak]

I kinda closed it down when I said, Each of you has an older relative whom you resemble. 40 years from now, you’ll look in your mirror and see that person staring back at you, and you’ll wonder when the heck that happened. Then you’ll see me looking over your shoulder and I’ll be laughing. They looked at each other and became quiet.

Well, 43 years have passed and I still get a laugh thinking that some of them will remember. I can also imagine some of the terms they’ll use. : )

Don’t forget “Old Frothingslosh”! Pale ale for the stale male.

Enjoy your grampa while you can, kid, and listen to what he has to tell you. One of mine was dead before I was born, and the other died before I turned 5. I’ll never know what I missed.

Try something like Sierra Nevada. That’s good stuff. It reminds me of somebody who said “I thought I didn’t like beer. Then I had a craft beer and realized I like beer. I just don’t like Budweiser.”

Oh, yeah? When I was a kid, they were allowed to play “Itchycoo Park” on the radio.

Game, Set, Match.

Memory just popped another one. The male parental unit of the family liked Duquesne’s Ale. I would rate it as second worst, right behind that Bavarian Dunkel!

“Godzillion” sounds monstrous. Is is possible you could just let the old man have his memories?

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O for the good old days of MALT DUCK again! It was Ambrosia! Drink of the Gods!

you seem kind of young to have opinions about beer

On “The Simpsons,” Bart found the secret recipe for Duff Beer one time. It was “Schlitz plus water.”

Hamms, the Beer Refreshing

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