Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 05, 2022

Pearl Bailey Irish Coffee.Justin Hoffman family is Jimmy Hoffa hiccup.

This one is a pickle in the middle.

Find a chance to snack.

Wells nells in the middle slap that pot belly and leave the slapper by the slappee and clap all night long..

Nope, just gonna pry that locust illustration off your head. And burn it.

So it’s just this endless laundry list of all these things I’ve done wrong. Maybe I’m lashing out because I hate the feeling of cream cheese in my shoes. Guess that never occurred to you.

Someone get the Space Captain a cold drink! He’s overheating!

Sorry love got my Labor of ❤️ love capital of love you! Enough is enough.

life can be cruel ….

So? Launch the locust before it’s too late.

This just goes to show, you give a grasshopper a landing field and they take over the whole freaking farm…….chickens and all. The clucking idiots

I’ve got to dig deeper to hide my canned jars of jackfruit…the deeper the better and out of sight….along with that disgusting toothbrush…Ew Ew

Let’s just check my itinerary . . . hmm . . . no. But I would be able to pencil you in after lunch, if that’s okay. But I can’t promise anything. I normally have unplanned emergencies that pop up around that time, and may need to postpone. How much advanced notice do you require before the village razing?

…actually, it was your lame yo-yo tricks that flipped my switch…

…and don’t getting me started about the flakes of dead skin in your eyebrows…

This just in … John Tyson of Tyson Foods has crossed the road and decided to redirect his fortunes into pest control … also, a local man ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon to see what came first … stay tooned …!

He’s got the right string but the wrong yo-yo.

Memo to Randolf Scott: I did not bury your favorite buffalo-pube toothbrush in the backyard. It is safely hidden away, along with your grey and blond merkins, in a sex toybox somewhere in Provincetown.

Well, finish flossing first, for heaven’s sake. Then we’ll talk about your budget for foam hats to wear to the Crickets’ game. ‘Number 1’ indeed!

The price of canned jackfruit ($21.86) is too pricey for me. I don’t really care either…. I’ve never tasted the stuff. If anyone here has tasted it, what does it taste like? Don’t say CHICKEN, please.

I have it on good authority that buffalo do not have pubic hair. The hair down there is the same as it is everywhere. So, either the buffalo is covered in pubic hair, or it has fur that tickles it’s willie. This does beg the question, is my buffalo skin rug really nothing more than a pubic hair bath mat?

There is one thing that I do know conclusively, and that is, Mr. bug for brains, you are an abomination! Prepare for a thorough ransacking, henceforth!

For sale, Cheap!

too much cnn

David Carradine will walk on rice paper.

Forgive please.

…three new shows…

…new game of thrones…

…new lord of the rings …

…new the chosen…

…chosen is my favorite…

…actually brought me to tears…

Thou hast said it.

Having foreseen your fate, you are now fully qualified to be principal protagonist in a neo-Charles Dickens novel, one the author of which, however, is sadly drug-addled and dreams of cricket caps, jackfruit, and other teratoid abominations, blending in spiritual formations from E.A. Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, and Samuel Beckett, and no doubt some others that may not be named here.

Need we an exorcist? Oh, Jason Miller!