Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for November 12, 2022

Mmmmm…… underarmstone peaches (pit is hairy and smells bad).

Eat the flesh and spit the pit.

Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man,

Who are this man who teaches peaches?

FINALLY! A Frog Applause™ we can relate to!

I hate clingy peaches and I pity the fool who likes ’em.

…but what about arm pits?…

…my cousin, Frank, used to claimed if you wanted to know what a woman smelled like…

…inhale her armpits…

…uh…

…what, Frank?…

…Eat a Peach…

…Frank would reply…

…I’m hitting a lick for peace—and every time I’m in Georgia, I eat a peach for peace…

…Frank, your lips move but I don’t hear what you’re saying…

…If you’ll be my Dixie Chicken, I’ll be your Tennessee Lamb…

…the Dixie Chicks, what?…

…they’re just The Chics, now…

…First base…

Hard to remove?

It’s a Victoria Secret that see you saw. Bras gone wild,..

My grandfather invented the peach pitter for cling peaches. Del Monte made millions off his invention, that’s why we were never allowed to have Del Monte products in the house.

Brad Mathers as the beaver.

Can we have some pretty peaches?

The Allman Brothers memorably offered us something called ‘Eat a Peach,’ and it turned out to be highly comestible. It was no ‘Peaches En Regalia’ though.

Does it strike anyone else that that young man is working awfully hard to get our attention? I think the clingy-peach thing is just a ruse. I think he’s trying to remind us of traditional Russian dance. Not conquest and atrocities, that other one.

You’re crackling rose garden…

Peach Nipples mmmm good stuff in the turkey dressing.

Getting rid of peaches in your pits is a top Secret …!

Well that’s just peachy.

Makeup! Only the eyeshadow knows.

O’Henry, you don’t know squat!

This is why I read Frog Applause daily. Facts like this are vital to coping with this fast changing world.

The Very Next Day

Aside from there being a slight buzzing going on in my ears when I woke up, everything seemed quite normal, at first. The dream from which I woke had a lot going on, quickly fading, but the buzzing seemed to be part of that. Why it persisted for a few moments after I woke was a bit of a mystery, but not all that unusual, really. I had seen such things before, after all. It was not that odd, in my experience, for elements of a dream to persist for a few moments into the waking world. As the day went on, there seemed to be more to it, however. The air seemed thin and tasteless, with familiar scents, such as coffee or bacon, being less rich than usual. I thought for a moment that I was coming down with one of the new designer coronavirus versions, but there were no other symptoms apparent as the day wore on.

You, sir are truly the pits.

But, generally, being a guy who prefers The Easy Way, I am in favor of freestone peaches. But Peaches was also quite delectable, freestone or cling (Susan Anspach’s nickname in Mad Bull 1977)….

are you saying stone is root?

Clingstone, freestone. They taste the same to me.