Monty by Jim Meddick for March 06, 2025

Assisted Idiocy

IP Hear you pal. I’ll be off probation at the end of the month, myself.

That’s actually a good idea.

My local brewery is my ‘’ol’-school bar’’. It really is an extension of families and a gathering place for like-minded people. No drunks…well, not too often anyway, and everyone knows each other.

Remember in the movie, Demolition Man, when the simp walks up to the kiosk and starts whining about how nobody likes him, and the computer then proceeds to blow sunshine up his mumu, saying things like, “You’re an incredibly sensitive man, who brings joy-joy to those around you!” and the guy actually buys it. Welcome to the future.

Siri-usly, would I lie to you?

Cue James Taylor (or George Jones cover) “Bartender Blues”:

♪♫ "Now I’m just a bartender, and I don’t like my work,

But I don’t mind the money at all.

I’ve seen lots of sad faces and lots of bad cases

Of folks with their backs to the wall" ♫♪

The termite walked into the tavern and asked where is the bartender

Did anyone ever hear the country song about the man who went into a bar to get advice from a patron because he heard that you could get words of wisdom there? Turns out he sat next to some old drunk who said: “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…Tijuana…Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..1963…Blah….”

Hell, he can get that at home! Artificial Intelligence meets Natural Dumbness. :)

A rope walks into a bar, but the barkeep throws him out, saying “We don’t serve your kind in here!” Rope walks into a nearby alley, loops around himself twice, and rubs vigorously up against the brick wall, then goes back into the bar. “Hey!”, says the bartender, “aren’t you the rope that I just threw out of here?” “No, I’m a frayed knot!”