Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 19, 2015

  1. Birthcontrol
    Dtroutma  over 9 years ago

    New page every day, throw out yesterday’s, a constant work in progress.

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    Randy B Premium Member over 9 years ago

    It’s rational to check the user interface for some kind of interactive help.

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    Wallythe2  over 9 years ago

    It’s very simple… I’m the woman and you’re the man… I (the woman) make the rules… if you (the man) ever figure out what the rules are I change the rules…

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    Superfrog  over 9 years ago

    I’m sure there used to be a Quick Start Guide but I haven’t seen one recently.

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    Varnes  over 9 years ago

    Women are easy to stand under….

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    mischugenah  over 9 years ago

    Since when do men actually read instruction manuals? :P

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    phylum  over 9 years ago

    women..use and care manual….oua;ejhd ;laljr a. ;oalif aj;a fno;adina;lcja;sldk ja;ldjaLD..dkda;ekdjmvm..lsdjfca fjdkal;dkaidkik dka akiod, kdial a dkiald ..LD…aoiekdkja… 1 xxx xxx xxxx..

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    Hugh B. Hayve  over 9 years ago

    A much better comeback would have been “Yes, here are your instructions” and hands him a really thick book.

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    Reppr Premium Member over 9 years ago

    or the bill….

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    Brass Orchid Premium Member over 9 years ago

    Imagine the sales of that book.

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    alviebird  over 9 years ago

    Mine would probably be mostly pictures, and any text would be in confusingly broken English.

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    whiteheron  over 9 years ago

    Merlin knew the answer:.How to handle a woman< /a>

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    Arianne  over 9 years ago

    If he can’t understand why “Thanks for the mammaries” isn’t the best way to end a date, then Bob’s hopelessness is all on him.

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    Plods with ...™  over 9 years ago

    Try John Gray’s book.

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    Lyons Group, Inc.  over 9 years ago

    Eeh.

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    Dour Scotsman  over 9 years ago

    Bobs only hope is for her instinct to mate and have babies exceeds her commonsense. Happily it worked for me.

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    Bikebrains  over 9 years ago

    The Honey Do List is an instruction manual but not the type that Bob was expecting or needs.

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    PsychoDyke  over 9 years ago

    My user manual can fit on a 3 × 5 card…

    I will not lieI will not cheatI will not steal

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    Duncan Idaho  over 9 years ago

    I just keep pushing buttons until it does what I want or crashes completely

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    grainpaw  over 9 years ago

    My wife phoned me and asked me to bring home 7-Up. I said, “OK, 7-Up.” I got 7-Up on my way home, and put it on the kitchen table. She said, “Where’s the ginger ale?”You can’t win, or even tie.

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    kwschatz  over 9 years ago

    If all else fails, RTFM.

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    dabugger  over 9 years ago

    Problem is those of programers are marginally illiterate.

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    MS72  over 9 years ago

    It’s real easy. Whatever you say or do, it’s wrong.

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    yimhere  over 9 years ago

    I don’t think Bob Hope ever gave up…..?

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    grainpaw  over 9 years ago

    @ Gokie5The real problem is that their refrigerator isn’t big enough.

    So, I make real good ginger ale from lemons, ginger, sugar, and water, and fill a 5 gallon soda keg in my homebrew draft system. In a week or two, it’s carbonated, and I announce that it’s ready. Six weeks after that, I have drunk the last of it, she goes to get some, and squawks that it’s all gone, she only got two glasses, and I’m consuming too much sugar.

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    becida  over 9 years ago

    I’ve been married twice & had 5 daughters… it took me a long time to figure out that females do not think the way males do.I can look at a wall & see blue paint, a picture of a sailboat & a window. Most any guy I know will see ‘about’ the same thing I see when I look at that wall.For a great many years (almost forever) I figured the females in my life saw the same thing on that wall, we had common ground.Turns out I was wrong. I’m not sure what “she” sees when she looks at that wall but it’s not blue paint, a picture of a sailboat & a window. I have to keep in mind that my basic expectations (on everything) are not the same as her’s.Knowing that I have no idea what’s going on has helped a tiny bit…

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    ZorkArg  over 9 years ago

    Wrong title – The instruction book is called a “Wuh-manual.”

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    milady1  over 9 years ago

    Isn’t Facebook/social media the new instruction manual? You can learn everything you never wanted to know about a person on social media these days.

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    Rarely  over 9 years ago

    A friend of mine with 9 kids (5 daughters) and 3 sisters explained it to me very simply: “They’re just from a different planet.” Case closed.

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    Rarely  over 9 years ago

    I saw Danny Thomas in Vegas a number of years ago and he explained that the secret of the success of his long term marriage (a rarity in Hollywood) was that he and his wife made a deal on their wedding day – he got to make all the big decisions and she got to make the little ones. He was asked what the difference was. He replied: “Its a big decision whether the U.S. goes to war. A little decision would be where we live, what I do for a living, etc.” When asked how many big decisions he had made in the 37 years they’d been married he replied: “None, but I’m ready”.

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    diggertsi  over 9 years ago

    But guys don’t read instruction manuals!

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    mr_sherman Premium Member over 9 years ago

    A number of years ago while at dinner with my second wife and her adult daughter. I went to say something and was commande by both to shut up. This happened again a few months later. A few weeks ago, they had another conversation that bothered me and I left. When I came home several hours later my wife asked me why I left and I reminded her of the incidents several years before. Her only request is that I inform her I’m leaving.

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    dgraham882 Premium Member over 9 years ago

    Direct quote from my wife: “It wouldn’t matter if we did, because y’all never read the instructions.”

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    Hunter7  over 9 years ago

    No Instruction Manual. There is a Guide Book Compendium. But you have to be female to get access.

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