Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 20, 2020

Folding the paperwork into a sailors hat, placing on head sideways. “Argh, Matey! I say we should get the Capt’ ta walk ye plank!”

That still don’t answer the question – did one walk, or was pushed?

Is the CEO going to make budget cuts with a sword and an eyepatch?

Perhaps they’ll pool their resources.

21st century reality-media seppuku.

Looks more like a diving board than a trition to ME.

I would make sure there is a pool beneath that before going to work. Or at least a big net.

It’s only proper business etiquette to give one several choices…

One man’s attrition is another man’s suicide, I guess.

What is really upsetting is that managers get bonuses for reducing costs by laying people off. They should only get bonuses for increasing business, throughput, and profits due to increased sales.

Well Covid will make that easier

This is pretty dark.

Good news, you’ve been given a position on the board. Bad news, it’s the 16th floor diving board.

A major IT company fired over 2500 workers via email in one day. One in ten got a severance package, the rest a token. The next month top level had a big dinner to celebrate the best quarter in company history. Asset management at its best. They were graduates of the Trump School of Personnel Decisions For Dummies

Please, feel free to atrit some more. Maybe there will be enough money to pay the people who actually work around there.

“Consider that contraption in the window your springboard to a successful new career!”

The Crimson Permanent Assurance?

I’m tempted to quote Buzz from Hudsucker Proxy, but I’ll demur for sensitivity’s sake

When corporate raiders turn pirate

There goes the board!!!

Points added for difficulty and style!

Smacks too much of 1929…

You first ya smug git.

If you always wondered why it was called a “board of directors.”

It’s a shame that we need a pandemic to cull the herd when enlightened population control would be so much more humane.

The size of the Corporate contribution to the Funeral costs is determined by the Judges’ score on the Diver’s Grace and difficulty of the particular dive.

A well executed triple back flip with a Twist will get you a Casket Upgrade.

Walked I think

Largest golden parachute goes first.

They’re all going to “volunteer” to jump.