Actually, you were born to be eaten alive. When you slow down, the saber toothed tiger got you. Oh, who was that Fool the gave us thumbs and ruined the natural order of things?
My boss used to go out into the 4 counties we served to check on the people who were over 100, to make sure they were ok, and that no one was stealing their social security checks. When he started doing it in 1980, there were only 4 people over 100. By 2000, there were 20, so people are living much longer. One guy who was 104 wasn’t even home. He drove every day to the diner to have breakfast with his young friends – in their 80’s and 90’s.
I teach middle school math. If any kid gets obnoxoius on his/ her birthday, I use a similar numberline and say, “congratulations, you’re not just a year further from your birth, buy a year closer to your death!”- yes… I’ve made 13 yr old cry on their birthday. :-) You’re never too young to come to grips with existential angst.
BE THIS GUY about 6 years ago
Ha ha! The joke’s on you, Rat! I’m going to be cremated.
TMO1 Premium Member about 6 years ago
It’s not great to live much longer than that 77 years. Both of my parents are in their mid-80s, and their quality of life is pretty poor.
willispate about 6 years ago
I wonder if Rat’s mind will be blown when he finds out few people live past 100?
chris_weaver about 6 years ago
Life’s a b!tch, then you die – Happy Birthday!
Cminuscomics&stories Premium Member about 6 years ago
Actually, you were born to be eaten alive. When you slow down, the saber toothed tiger got you. Oh, who was that Fool the gave us thumbs and ruined the natural order of things?
enigmamz about 6 years ago
I don’t get older: I level up!
F-Flash about 6 years ago
Rat left out the part about wearing “Depends”, and eating canned dog food. Reality Bites !
Say What Now‽ Premium Member about 6 years ago
As Dick Van Dyke, who is over 90 years old and still dances, said; don’t stop moving!
mjb515 about 6 years ago
The sun is the same, in a relative way, but you’re older. Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death.
dlkrueger33 about 6 years ago
We have some folks in our skating club still skating and competing in their 70s and 80s. I’m just a mere child in my 60s…. Age is only a number.
GeifuKe about 6 years ago
Summary of my life: I was born, I lived, I bought the farm. Movin’ on, down. From mud I rise to mud I drown.
GeifuKe about 6 years ago
The rat, the rat…riding its wheel for exercise, always in greed until it dies, borrowing pepper to season its flies….
GeifuKe about 6 years ago
When Pig buys the farm, his name will be Mud.
GeifuKe about 6 years ago
When Rat buys the farm, his name will be Tar.
Egrayjames about 6 years ago
If I had known I would live this long I’d have picked better friends…..the type that know how to pick out nice birthday cards.
Alien-X about 6 years ago
Rat is an existentialist.
Masterskrain about 6 years ago
“Life is what happens to you while you are waiting to croak!”
aerotica69 about 6 years ago
I prefer the Tao of Opus: “You’re born, you live, you go on some diets, you die.”
nosirrom about 6 years ago
ANNOUNCEMENT: I am not going to die until I get my cake and Edith too.
Plods with ...™ about 6 years ago
Not starting the day looking at the dirt side of a lawn is a good thing.
Masterskrain about 6 years ago
I have decided that if I can’t take it with me, I’M NOT GOING!!!
Darth Stevious about 6 years ago
Not only is it my birthdayy this is the first card I got! What a great way to start the day!
Indianapolis Smith about 6 years ago
Life expectancy of a rat: ~2 yearsLife: sexually transmitted and fatal
markie.howell about 6 years ago
This one hits close to home. I took the hop from 57 to 58 yesterday. Happy birthday, Steph.
T Smith about 6 years ago
Crap! Took a close look at the card… I turn 57 this year.
Cameron1988 Premium Member about 6 years ago
My dad is 77 years old. He’ll be 78 in February. I hope, Rat’s theory is incorrect
Tallguy about 6 years ago
When social security was established the average life span was less than 55. So this is kinda awesome!
WCraft Premium Member about 6 years ago
The countdown starts the day we are born. Thankfully, there is a better life to come.
B UTTONS about 6 years ago
Is Rat planning something to save the world? … there’s still hope?
Born: June 14, 1946 (age 72 years),
xtalman about 6 years ago
Hits home as I just did the 56 did 57 jump. Who knew I was the same age as goat.
amaryllis2 Premium Member about 6 years ago
Happy Birthday, Stephan!
Sue G about 6 years ago
My boss used to go out into the 4 counties we served to check on the people who were over 100, to make sure they were ok, and that no one was stealing their social security checks. When he started doing it in 1980, there were only 4 people over 100. By 2000, there were 20, so people are living much longer. One guy who was 104 wasn’t even home. He drove every day to the diner to have breakfast with his young friends – in their 80’s and 90’s.
kaffekup about 6 years ago
(In a mournful tone)
“Happy birthday.
People dying everywhere.
Sorrow and sickness in the air.
Happy birthday.."
Sisyphos about 6 years ago
I’d buy Rat’s birthday cards! A dose of reality helps fight the sugar rush from all that birthday cake and ice cream!
dr_suess about 6 years ago
I teach middle school math. If any kid gets obnoxoius on his/ her birthday, I use a similar numberline and say, “congratulations, you’re not just a year further from your birth, buy a year closer to your death!”- yes… I’ve made 13 yr old cry on their birthday. :-) You’re never too young to come to grips with existential angst.
GuyWithComputer almost 6 years ago
Goat is 57???