Pickles by Brian Crane for September 02, 2020

now what rhymes with “apple”?

An anonymous pome poem:

    Dried Apple Pies

I loathe, abhor, detest, despise,

Abominate  dried-apple pies.

I like good bread, I like good meat,

Or anything that’s fit to eat;

But of all poor grub beneath the skies,

The poorest is dried apple pies.

Give me the toothache, or sore eyes,

But don’t  give me dried apple pies.

The farmer takes his gnarliest fruit,

’Tis wormy, bitter, and hard, to boot;

He leaves the hulls to make us cough,

And don’t take half the peeling off.

Then on a dirty cord ’tis strung

And in a attic window hung,

And there it serves as roost for flies,

Until it’s made up into pies.

Tread on my corns, or tell me lies,

But don’t feed me dried-apple pies.

“Pome” doesn’t bother me. But pronouncing mirror as “mire” does. Go figure.

Today’s Pickles is brought to you by Sesame Street, because I learned something new.

My mom came from Massachusetts. She pronouns stuff differently too. For instance, for the plural form of leaf, she says leefs instead of leaves. Same for the plural form of wolf. She says woofs instead of wolves. I couldn’t get her to pronounce Nintendo for anything. She insisted on calling it intendo instead.

A pome poem meme?

Aluminum/Alunimum Cinnamon/Synonym Watch/Wahtch Theatre/The-ATE-er Water/WahterCari-BBE-an/Ca-RIBB-ean

“Anyways” is like fingernails on a chalkboard.

“Now go away, you’re breaking my concentration!”

You become an idiot when you argue with one.

All depends on what and how one hears something …

Poetic justice, eh Earl?

French I believe is “La Pomme” for apple!

I had an English professor in college who brow-beat us over po-em. The two things I took away from that class were “po-em” and the fact that the word “bade” (as in, “He bade us goodbye”), is pronounced “bad”, not as rhyming with “raid”. --That said, I can find the both pronunciations on google. Guess it’s one of those words that is morphing into the mispronunciation as acceptable.

Is it about Opal, Earl? Is she the apple of your eye?

No wonder old people die. They’d rather die than be part of conversations like this one.

Earl writing POETRY..??Sorry…….. I’m just not buyin’ it.

No love poem for you Opal.

Opal should get her own house in order before taking others to task. She ended her question to Earl with a period.

To help my wife with this I asked what you do with small boats (row ’em) and small rips (sew ’em). Row ’em, sew ’em, poem.

LOL! Opal needs to mind her own business….shes such a BUTTinsky,

Earl, will it have illustrations of pome-poem girls?

It is annoying when people say “are” instead of “our”, or they say “a apple” instead of “an” apple.

If Earl compiles a lengthy series of these writings he will have a pome poem tome in his home.

Aargh! All those trips of yore to watch our daughters pom-pon exhibitions, the horror, the horror.

Pomme?

Pomeranian

Write one about a pear, then you’ll have a pair of pome poems.

Poetry in non motion.

Is a fossil of an apple called a “Pome-granite”?

Would a long story about a sword-fight be an epee epic?

There was a farmer in the prairies who loved to bake his own bread. The flies could be bad at times and when the odd fly would end up in his dough he would tell everyone that he had baked some raisin bread. This is a true story. He had lived in Saskatchewan in western Canada.

Today, my vocabulary has grone.

I’m sure she believes he is really cute. I’m sure she really loves him too.

Pome drives me up a wall. ARE for OUR does too.