Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for April 25, 2021

Maybe you impressed them with your honesty.

That’s what happens when HR does the screening interviews.

I read the question over a couple of times & I still want to say “Huh?”

You’re better off somewhere else.

Inc Speak.

‘I bring honesty and clarity to an otherwise murky company’. Just kidding.

I think that’s the right answer.

If he had said he would bring “forward-facing synergy” to the table, I bet he would have got the job.

Mention “paradigm shift” and “low hanging fruit” in combination with some other words and you’d be in like Flynn. Well, you would’ve been a few years ago.

Apparently, they weren’t impressed with his declaration that he is a “People Person.”

Do I have to memorize every buzzword and phrase to get the job? Do you even know what the heck you just said??

Huh? 90 % of what you just said is baffle gab and the rest is just complex gobbledy gook. Can you please restate the question using actual words with meaning?

I have the ability to see through complicated matters, and boil them down to their essence. If I hear you correctly, you are asking me what I can do to make this company a better place.

Once I have a clear grasp on the issue at hand, I can formulate and implement a solution in which all parties benefit. (Translation… I can make things better.)

What do you have to work with and where are we aiming?

“I care too much.”

“There is no ‘I’ in ‘TEAM.’”

“I work too hard.”

“I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘Fail.’”

“Success begins now.”

“I’m with Stupid.”

Oops. Forget that last one.

“I speak clearly and succinctly and encourage others to do the same.” The only possible answer.

Translation. What can you do for the company that will help us make more money? No matter how its worded, the question is always the same…..

He’ll be the perfect scapegoat!

“I communicate clearly. Which this organization desperately needs.”

I was asked “What can you bring to this department, besides doughnuts?” True happening. PS, I got the job.

“When things go downhill too fast on your blue square, don’t blame a green circle and check the WEIGHT class of the Jim Peplinski team flakes.” – Dean Jackson Whole Zero Squadron

As an interviewee, that would be my cue to say “Not interested in your position, thank you.” And then I’d show them my actionable skills …

My answer would be simply. “Ah git mah chores done.”

Thanks for your time. Don’t call us and we won’t call you

Reminds me of a new young MBA manager who wanted to bring in a third person to work on an issue so that we could “triangulate”.