Red and Rover by Brian Basset for December 21, 2021

When aren’t they dry and hard?

Oh, yes. “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” (1964). The American followup to “Santa Claus” (1959) from Mexico. We had to prove to them that we could make a Christmas film just as bad as they did.

True holiday classics, the both of them. I try and rewatch them every year.

Like in War of the Worlds (by H.G. Wells), all of the Martians die – “slain by something against which their systems were unprepared.”

That is a good fight, I would do so, too!!

In “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” a young Pia Zadora plays one of the Martian children.

I have read recipes in which fruitcake is described as moist and delicious. I figured they were works of fiction.

A movie riffed by MST3K, Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic

Folk lore is that there was only one fruit cake ever made. It has been re-gifted for hundreds of years. Going back to some Christmas renaissance fair. Ha

That’s my kind of Christmas movie!

The old fruitcake trick

When you get older, you learn to soak them in rum.

I’d never heard of “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” either. It’s great that R&R readers share information about things I’m unfamiliar with—I learn so much from them!

This is a real movie you can currently rent on Amazon Video for free. My family and I wanted to watch a bad Christmas movie for fun, we got out wish. It’s awful!

Those nutcrackers will play hell on your flying saucer.

The best worst Christmas movie ever. I remember seeing it at a December Psychotronic Film Festival in the early 1990s. Pia Zadora’s best acting job.

great movie still have it on vhs

Collins Street Bakery, Corsicana, TX, makes the best moist fruitcakes. I love their apricot pecan one.

One of the best worst movies ever. It’s a Christmas tradition over here.

Yep, that would do it.

Poor fruit cakes are always the subject for bad jokes.

That’s just SO unfair to the Martians……

Ever see Santa in a consquistador helmet?

He makes them watch their own movie until the beg for mercy.

Which is worse, Santa Conquers the Martians, or the Mexican Santa Claus movie? Both were MST3K fodder.

The filmmakers used up their entire budget renting a Santa costume, I think.

I love fruit cake…but my diabetes doesn’t.