A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, orders a drink and while he’s drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over, grabs some olives off the bar, eats them, grabs some sliced limes, eats them, jumps up on the pool table, grabs a cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy says, “No, what?”
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!” says the bartender.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.”
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted.
“Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks.
“Now what?”, responds the patron.
“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball, now he measures everything first!”
Now, the airlines chuckle darkly when anyone mentions that they used to serve some kind of food. Couple of recent flights, we weren’t even served the packet of seven peanuts. But that’s okay- we were all just grateful that they bothered to fly the flight we’d all paid to be on that day. Wasn’t that nice of them?
The problem is, it doesn’t stop at one olive, or American Airlines. This type of thinking is why everything always gets worse. In fact, everything will always get as bad as it possibly can be (but no worse) because profits are optimized when everybody is unhappy with everything.
wooleys2001 4 months ago
I guess that’s why Amelia crashed.
Leroy 4 months ago
I’m surprised they didn’t do Thai Chi.
The dude from FL Premium Member 4 months ago
Pinch those pennies American Airlines
eromlig 4 months ago
Oh, lawdy — that $40,000 one-olive hoax is back…
The Duke 4 months ago
Just think how much they would have save if they left off the tomatoes!
The Duke 4 months ago
I bet Amelia had quite the headache from the smelling salt.
Freebyrd1 4 months ago
Think of the fumes they were breathing in under that plane filled sky!
Say What Now‽ Premium Member 4 months ago
Everyone should have to go to the bathroom before boarding the plane.
jonnytest 4 months ago
AA’s greed knows no bounds.
therese_callahan2002 4 months ago
And yet she disappeared without a trace.
therese_callahan2002 4 months ago
One night in Bangkok, and you’ll practice yoga.
Pickled Pete 4 months ago
The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy says, “No, what?”
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!” says the bartender.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.”
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted.
“Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks.
“Now what?”, responds the patron.
“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball, now he measures everything first!”
Indiana Guy Premium Member 4 months ago
Some people are naturally immune to the stimulant effects of coffee and tea. Was Amelia one of them?
kaycstamper 4 months ago
And what do they save if they eliminate the entire dish?
markhughw 4 months ago
…and they saved $40,000,000 a year by eliminating meals altogether, and they made $80,000,000 a year by charging for meals.
markhughw 4 months ago
I love the smell and roar of jet engines during morning yoga.
mindjob 4 months ago
Those olives were the best part of the salad
Huckleberry Hiroshima 4 months ago
One olive is plenty.
gregcartoon Premium Member 4 months ago
Now, the airlines chuckle darkly when anyone mentions that they used to serve some kind of food. Couple of recent flights, we weren’t even served the packet of seven peanuts. But that’s okay- we were all just grateful that they bothered to fly the flight we’d all paid to be on that day. Wasn’t that nice of them?
Angry Indeed Premium Member 4 months ago
I find that the factoid about Amelia Earhart stinks.
Bilan 4 months ago
When they practiced yoga at the airport, they did the Downward Boeing.
dpatrickryan Premium Member 4 months ago
The problem is, it doesn’t stop at one olive, or American Airlines. This type of thinking is why everything always gets worse. In fact, everything will always get as bad as it possibly can be (but no worse) because profits are optimized when everybody is unhappy with everything.
walter Premium Member 4 months ago
Oh goody, yoga in jet exhaust fumes. I can imagine healthier ways to do it…
azardoz 4 months ago
The airlines are contemplating half-seats (non-seats ?):
Https://Www.reddit.Com/r/assholedesign/comments/b8nuf7/prototype_ultraeconomy_flight_seating/
news 4 months ago
Imagine the money that American Airlines could save if they eliminated the weight of all the passengers.