Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for May 09, 2022

I’d second that.

Doc, you’re quite the cut-up!

The autopsy was probably on his wallet.

Death is a touchy feely kinda’ thing. You feel like you’re dead. I go to touch you and you move. Looks like you ain’t dead, right.

Next time please wait until after I am dead. See you in court.

Now about my organ donor status…

It was so surprising, we had to stop what we were doing – we just could finish it.

We thought we had your murderer dead to rights. We were wrong.

You know that you shouldn’t perform autopsies on yourself, right?

…and praise be to god, I’m still here!

Can they do tele-autopsies now?

Somehow I find this confusing………

Can I have my donated organs back now?

But that’s what the “auto” in autopsy means.

He’ll win any scar-comparing contest hands down!

I have to admit being unsettled when I misread an email that said, “Your autopay is scheduled for 3 days from now.”

The autopsy came back as Negative.

That’s Country Joe. He only felt like he was fixin’ to die.

ANYTIME someone’s talking to you about YOUR autopsy it should be surprising.

This would be a great opening for book or a movie.

It’s just that your a dead ringer for…..well you know.

“Most of our…ummmm… “patients”… DON’T yell ‘OUCH’ during the procedure."

The report of my death was an exaggeration

I get the sense that he wasn’t really the first to admit it.

Most people don’t survive an autopsy.

Ah yes… our local health care facility, aka: assisted suicide provider, is often surprised when a patient survives.

Doctor or lawyer ?

I knew a fellow who read his own obituary in a newspaper, while recovering in the hospital.