That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 25, 2022

The “Portrait of Diana Gray”. The woman in the painting got fatter while Diana remained thin.

This is a cropped version of the painting “Fair Critics.” Here is the complete painting.

https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fair_Critics.JPG

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“Who wore it better?”

Husband, deciding which he was going to keep: The one that made his breakfast, or the one that didn’t spend all of his money.

Painting was done before she got covid.

/// Though it seems that this woman’s alone,

more than half of the painting’s not shown.

In a large half-dark room

figures sit in the gloom,

passing judgement, their feelings unknown.

/// Women cropped from this image surveyed

how she matches the way she’s portrayed.

In the missing left side

these Fair Critics decide

if that oil’s worth the price that she paid.

Edith hoped that the painting would make her famous. Or at least help her find a husband. But what poor Edith didn’t realize was that nobody paid any attention to paintings by American artists.

I told you this dress makes me look sallow!

I wuz FRAMED!!!

Jenny Craig? Another reference from the USA lost on the rest of us, I assume?

Back then, selfies were much more difficult.

“Charles. Is it me or Memorex?”

They say the canvas adds 10 pounds.

Selfies were a lot tougher to do back then

I suspect that you used a pin hole camera to help paint this portrait of me…

Seriously? Are we really saying she’s fat in the painting?!

The dinner guests did NOT know they would be enduring a slide show presentation after dinner.

“Upon reflection,” said she/

“That sure looks a lot like me !”/

And, as she drew nearer,/

She saw ‘twas a mirror-/

How right could a lady be ?

Sequel to “The Picture of Dorian Grey”

The picture’s of sweet Doreen Grey

True daughter of Dorian, they say,

Who came upon his old picture

Wiped by black magic paint mixture

And for that she’d regret to this day.

.

She had it hung in its old place

Her mind whispered it belonged in that space

And a painter called Hellsent

His morbid disposition hellbent

Painted her picture full of soul grace

.

Later ‘twas Lady Windermere with her fan

Who enquired discretely who was the man

Who painted so inaccurately grim

Her figure that was nubile and slim

And when told she then got up and ran.

.

Oh, why retrace the Wilde story of Dorian?

Doreen did not make the mistakes he did again

She met a young, kind, virtuous art dealer

Who from Hellsent’s evil influence did heal her.

Long tale short, his name was Woke Finnegan.

Jane’s husband, ever the cheap @#!$, said, “I will not pay for a portrait to be painted, we shall go to the starving artist sale, and you will find one that looks kind of like you.”

I told him the gown was ice blue, but he insisted on using cerulean blue. And let’s not even discuss the carroty red he used for my lovely auburn hair!

“Next item up for auction is this self portrait. Am I bid $1500.?”

“Somethings wrong with this mirror!”

Chuck had yet to learn that, when trying to flatter your subject, you should only go up one cup size.

Fair Critics (detail): 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings by Charles Courtney Curran" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, Duckduckgo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and click first Category: found, and once there, find detail in the text of that webpage, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. As the (currently) first comment here points out, this is a cropped image of the full painting (pointed to by that comment or the upper right inset image in the Summary section; I have added details there since that comment was posted).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by merely (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s THROWBACK THURSDAY: MASTERPIECE #32 (11/25/09) (August 24, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment. I have added a comment there pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 2 works by this artist have been used here (3 times total, including this Throwback Thursday repeat), the March 1, 2012, strip being its first use (the hyperlinks in my comment there have been deactivated; without those it’s pretty much useless).

This mirror is freakin’ jacked man.

That’s the last time a buy a used mirror from the carnival side show.

Edith was hoping for a simple photo, but NO it had to be hours long painting and he made me fat to boot.

Scottie’d fallen in love with a fiction.

With a painter’s artistic depiction

of a girl no one knew.

What was Scottie to do?

His solution caused heartache and friction.

/// He met someone who vaguely resembled

his “love.” When he saw her he trembled.

Dyed and restyled her hair.

Brought an outfit to wear

which he’d, in his obsession, assembled.

/// Now she stood by her twin made of paint,

tightly corseted, ready to faint.

Scottie frowned at the sight.

“Something’s not yet quite right…”

“No!!!” she screeched, “I can’t be who I ain’t!”

Thank you for coming to my dinner party! And now, as my parting gift to each of you …