That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 16, 2023

“Ooh, I like this one. How much?”

“That painting is $5,000, sir.”

“No, I mean the girl.”

/// To the painter, the soldier said, “Sold!

Your new nude is a sight to behold.

And I love the fact that

to the touch, it’s not flat.

Feel this bump… you can tell she was cold.”

Yes, I looked just like that when I was twenty!

Sir? That’s a still life of a fruit plate.

The artist hated it when “potential buyers” smudged his paintings.

You blur, it you bought it.

Why did I get the lousy numbers on the football pool?

Guy on the far right: “What’s a ‘robot’? Or a ‘traffic light’?”

“At last — a touch-screen tablet computer I can effectively use! Not only can the screen images appear nice and big, but I now won’t struggle with fat-finger selection mistakes. The size is a bit inconvenient, though …”

“Oh! So this is a guillotine…..What a handy little device to have around the house. If some guy shows up here by the name of Ishmael, be sure to show him this and tell him that this will be what happens next!”

Let’s see, you x is in the upper right so I’ll put my o in the left corner

Art: a study in light, shadow, and unrelenting dreariness.

Said the Colonel “Your atelier/

Is a hotbed of moral decay!/

This work is unclean-/

It’s downright obscene-/

Kindly have it delivered today!”

From: Call me Ishmael

https://www.gocomics.com/profile/2288699

~

Said the Colonel “Your atelier/

Is a hotbed of moral decay!/

This work is unclean-/

It’s downright obscene-/

Kindly have it delivered today!”

I’ll just replace this fuse and the light will turn back on!

Something just doesn’t seem right…I’m trying as hard as I might…But I really can’t see…Is that a nude or a tree…Just wait till I turn on the light.

Touchscreen paintings!

“There’s Waldo!”

“What is this, some kind of joke? You’ve painted me as a grotesque, leering lunatic!”

“Milord, that’s a mirror. Your portrait is over here.”

The customers were amazed by the technique of Fortescue’s meat collages. The dog was just waiting for him to him to drop the pallette.

“Hmmm…” thought Friedrich, “what compels a man seeing the words ‘wet paint’ on something inevitably to touch that thing? I must ask Sigmund about that, the next time we meet for racquetball.”

To his dog, every artist is a Michelangelo.

“‘Wenn…du…das…lesen…kannst,…bist…du…zu…nah…dran.’ I don’t get it.”

“If I keep the lights dim enough, they’ll never notice it’s a paint-by-numbers kit. I’m brilliant!”

Artist: “No, I DON’T think she would look better with a mustache! Stop that!”

“Please don’t touch the boobies, Sir”

“Very nice, Herr Friedländer. You’ve managed to capture the Humors of War that Goya missed completely…”

“This map is pleasing to the eye, but I’m afraid it’s inaccurate. You’ve made Germany much too large, squeezing out much of France, Poland, Bohemia, even our beloved Austria. Saying it’s “ahead of it’s time” may fool the critics, but it’s simply bad cartography."

“This painting grips me, Friedrich. It grabs me and it won’t let go. Seriously, my finger’s stuck.”

Quis est non compos mentis – European Renaissance Latin c. 1450…

All time favorite authentication question: “Is ice hot?” At the time I was rehearsing Exit the Body, in which everyone was looking for stolen diamonds – “hot ice” in classic gangster slang.

which switch turns the lights on? it’s so dark in here i can’t see the nudes.

The Painter Friedländer in His Studio: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Friedrich Friedländer" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Studio, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this roughly jumbo envelope size, oil on panel painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3062 (January 15, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 5 works by this artist have been used here, the June 13, 2019, strip bring the prior. I usually write something like: The artist URLs listed in my comment there are also in the blog comment. But, evidently the GoComics Moderator must have found something objectionable about my comments and deleted it, along with several others around that time.

What do you mean I have to be an OnlyFans member? Of course I’m a fan! Now let me see the picture!

“You say it’s ‘Impressionist,’ yet my finger leaves no impression at all. See?”

“I recognize you, Friedrich, and your little doggie. But who’s this fat buffoon in the middle of the picture?”

“‘Du bist da…’ Ach, the Cinnabon is on the other side of the mall, by the J.C. Pfennig!”

“He looks alive enough to actually pull my finger… Whoops! I guess he can!”

“You say this color is called “Prussian Blue?’ Where I’m from, we just call it ‘Blue.’”

“The eyes seem to follow me around the room. I must poke them.”

“You say this cat loves Mondays and hates lasagna? I think you’re onto something, but you aren’t quite there.”