The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for December 21, 2024

Boy, is he in a pick…. nevermind

“Come on sweetie, what is the big dill anyway?”

I guess he’s not her bread and butter anymore.

That’s a saucy tomato.

What a pickle to be in.

Biff the Vampire Diller!

Oh, oh. He’s been caught Gherkin off at work.

It’s not surprising he’s spending time with someone else. When he’s home with his wife, it no longer feels like they’re two peas in a pod.

She’s half soured on their relationship now.

Cuz I’m a Claussen?

I think he’s in a pickle.

He had lunch with cloves & fishes.

So many puns, so little time.

She knows he was at the bar getting pickled.

I haven’t a cue?

That’s what happens when garlic has a crush on him.

Must’ve been hanging with a polski ogurkgie

Boy, he’s in a pickle — I hope that doesn’t make him sour. You picked a fine brine to leave me Lucille.

He’s stepping out with his Best Maid.

Because he got pickled/

Besides the Doctor Pepper, I ordered a pizza with garlic and anchovies….

“We’re being stalked by a vegetable vampire!”

That cucumber sure got into a tight spot.

Something smells fishy…

This one is a rather lame.

He’s just trying to earn his celery.

She is only now realizing that he’s a fruit (of course, so is she).

What tomato with you, you know I use a garlic cologne.

My cooking skills are in the negative, so I don’t get the significance of the garlic reference. What’s it supposed to mean?

It was a jarring question … a very tight jar.

“Sorry honey, you’re just not my bread and butter.”

Next time, lettuce spray before going home.

“Because Garlic adds spice to my life. You’re just fat and round.”

Is anyone familiar with the German tradition of hide the pickle? No! Not THAT kind of hide the pickle! On Christmas, you hide a glass pickle ornament somewhere on the tree, and whoever finds it gets an extra gift and/or good fortune throughout the year. Here pickle pickle pickle…

Has he been stuffing olives?

“Honey, why would I cheat when I have a nice tomato at home?”

Has anyone told you what a real tomato your wife is?

He’s gettin’ pickled on the side!

He better be careful or she might turn into a Killer Tomato and put him in the food processor.