The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 22, 2025

Cannibalism ? Tsk..

As a young engineer I was sent to talk to a customer representative. My boss pulled me aside. The rep’s name is Mister Zen. His first name is Ray. Don’t get caught off-guard.

It’s the Botox injections, I swear!

It was a “grape” effort!

He drank a lot of water this morning.

“I heard it through the grapevine…”

He’s trying to use a fake ID.

Wasn’t Ray Zen one of the Village People?

Just trying to rehydrate

He’s going to wine about that this rejection his friends.

His (lack of) wrinkles gave him away again.

There’s no Ray Zen to card him.

Shoulda gone for the Jose Cuervo and he’d have been fine.

“You can call me Ray, or you can call me Zen……..

I heard through the grapevine that this is a fake ID…

Yeah, Zen is known for his fruity character.

This is raisin a lot of red flags.

He was a Buddhist or a some kinda Star War character. ;-p

One time I got caught with a fake ID….and that’s the night I met my husband to be….here today, gone tomorrow.

That should have been an omen to run the other way….

I heard it on the grapevine

He’s been trying to promote the value of eating dried grapes. He’s been raisin awareness.

For those who are NOT Ancient of days, The ref is to The California Raisins; a fictional rhythm and blues animated musical group as well as advertising and merchandising characters composed of anthropomorphized raisins. Lead vocals were sung by musician Buddy Miles.1 The California Raisins were popular from 1986 to 1994 through claymation TV commercials and animated specials, winning an Emmy Award and one nomination

Um, actually, isn’t cabernet sauvignon a red wine? Why does it look greenish like a white in the bottle? And I guess Josh brand is premier 7-Eleven too. LOL

He’s looking for a dry wine.

The wrinkle in his plan was he had none.

That California Raisins mockumentary was a classic.

As a raisin, he should have gone for an Passito wine or Straw, not a Cab – rookie error.

Just more California Dreamin’.

Nobody mentioned that when his father finds out, he’ll be the grape of wrath.

That was zen. This is now.

Ah, now THERE’S a line that brings back a fond memory. A college buddy of mine spent the entire year when he was 20 getting into bars by buffaloing the carders at the door. He’d show them his driver’s license, they’d say he couldn’t come in because he was underage, then he’d laff and say, “Oh, everybody says that. But look at the date: December 31, right when the year turns over.” This worked almost every time — usually greeted with a kind of baffled “Huh. OK, I guess.” — and they’d wave him in. Only once when I was with him did he get a “Nice try, kid. Get outta here.”

Who is drinking Gilbert Grape? He stole the id from his uncle, a retired “California Raisin”