Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for April 16, 2022

Calvin’s horoscope just changed to: You will spend the day hiding under your bed.

Wonder what Susie’s horoscope says on this lucky day.

that’s it; Calvin’s through with astrology

Oh how horoscopes betray Calvin so!

He doesn’t sound very entu-Susy-ed about it

Irresistible beautiful!!

I predict smooches ahead!

For Calvin or Hobbes?

SMOOCHES!!

I wonder what Suzi’s horoscope says?

“Dividends.” Never heard ’em called THAT before.

Do romance and popularity go hand in hand?

A guy’s thinking about such matters remains very rational and clear until the hormones kick in…

As I mentioned yesterday, on Monday Calvin read his own horoscope but today’s horoscope is read to him by Hobbes. Hobbes may well be making it up. This possibility isn’t examined but it would be true to Hobbes’s character.

On Thursday, someone made a comment about Mom “slapping her hand on the little butt”. I jokingly pretended to misunderstand this and said that Calvin can be a little butt hole at times but there are times when he’s a likeable kid and even a good example. Someone else asked me if I would vote Calvin for President when he is thirty-five.

I don’t think we should imagine any six-year-old as a thirty-five year old. I also don’t think that anyone should be voted President on what they were like at the age of six. Calvin’s better aspects include his concern for the environment so that would be to his advantage if he ran for President as an adult. He’s also very cynical about politicians and is far more likely to grow up to be a detective who specialises in busting crooked politicians.

It’s only true if it suits you……..

Eileen from from Foxtrot may pay him a visit.

Oh, the horror-scope!

Ah, I see they are still teaching sexual orientation in the comics.

Destiny, destiny, no escaping that for thee, Cal (with apologies to Mel Brooks and Young Frankenstein)

A lucky day for love can lead to a lifetime of child support.

I remember a cartoon of a little boy and little girl and one says to the other, “Am I the opposite sex or are you?”

Time for Calvin to ditch the horoscope and find another source to try slipping off his responsibilities.

I wonder what Suzy’s horrorscope says.

Not a bad horror-scope if you’re a bit older. Oddly enough, if you’re too old, it’s not all that great either.

Hobbes, was that really in there, or are you just messing with Calvin? This week’s, he deserved it.

A retraction of a prediction? That practically rhymes! And Calvin shouldn’t worry; that “emphasize romance” thing would probably only apply to adults.

Thank you, Jim Watterson— it always makes me laugh extra hard when Hobbes sticks it to Calvin like this.

Girls ! Oh, no !

“You are a guillible person, who will pick and choose from random comments about personality traits to find something that increases your self-esteem.”

I could go for some ‘’big dividends’’, getting old is no fun.

I’d love it if that were my horoscope…

Calvin, Calvin!!!!, Yes Mom ??? Susie is at the door asking for you…

“DIVIDEND”: the Product is the ‘Quotient’: not similar to the ‘divisor’: similar to the word “Quarry”.

I am LOLing!!!!

This is the day parts of it come true! Calvin knows.

Now he will form the G.R.O.S.S. Club

Only one of the Gemini pair gets beaten up, the other half enjoys the better horoscope.

It’s so cute that Hobbs reads the funnies to Calvin.

Another good reason to avoid Susie.

Looks like his will bends to everything instead of the other way around.

Ding dong. That’s Suzy at the door.

Hobbs senses some smoochies coming his way.

Calvin’s irony is tempting to con Susie and not getting romantic. The galaxies are again thwarting.