Close to Home by John McPherson for October 24, 2023

And Bleeb has left the building.

She thought she was being funny. She should have read the room.

No Bleeb. Guess he doesn’t want to be seen?

Bleep picked a good day to miss standing under an occupied chair.

“Furtz” come “Furtz” served.

You might need to find a different optometrist if your current one makes you put on a hospital gown for an eye test.

True Story: In the third grade I went for an eye exam for the first time. The doctor asked me to read the chart on the wall and I asked, “What chart?” My Mom was embarrassed thinking I was being a smart alec (which I am prone to do). But I seriously couldn’t see the chart. Finally after pointing but me not seeing it he walked all the way down there and said, “This chart.” I said, “Oh that chart. Well that top one might be an E but I can’t see anything else.” Then my Mom realized how bad my eyesight was. Laser eye surgery when I was 30, no regrets.

The ‘Tap! Tap!’ is a nice touch.

I was waiting in the exam room at my optometrist’s office some years back when I recalled an old Bugs Bunny cartoon, so I got out of the chair and went to the eye chart and read the manufacturer’s information at the bottom of it. When the doctor came in, and started that portion of the exam and told me to read the smallest letters I could see, so I rattled off the manufacturers information. Unamused, she asked me, what I thought I was doing so I told her. She went to the chart and looked and Sur enough it was as I had said, though I transposed a number in the zip code.

Is that what they mean by “reading the room”?

She is not blind just stupid

Maybe Bleeb has so thoroughly reformed that he won’t even enter a room if a good observational target is there. Alas, poor Bleeb.

Read the bottom line.

“Reg.U.S.Pat.Off.”

I don’t see Bleeb, so I guess I need an eye exam. I cheated on my last exam… I had the answers written on my hand.

Well, on the positive side she is able to see the letters. Just the wrong letters. Let me just take this opportunity to say, if you can’t see well but you can afford lazik surgery(or even RK), I personally recommend it.

Read the last line? I know the guy!

The optician’s helper got caught up in the lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself!

Close the door Moron.

Good eyesight. Wrong view

Isn’t that good enough???

“Read the top of the chart!” “Oh, sorry! Um… T…A…P… T…A…P…” “Not the sounds effects, you ninny!”

I’ll trade you an LPC for a FURTZ.

HA! I think She’s going to need more than glasses!

HALPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! I’m going blind!!!!!!!! I can’t see Bleeb, anywhere!!!!!!!!! Oh. Never mind. :)

I can see me struggling to make out a letter and looking somewhere else entirely. My eye doctors just ask if I can see anything at all without my glasses and stop stressing me

During my last eye exam a nurse deliberately stepped in between me and the chart. She was happy when I read P R E T T Y