Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 02, 2012
Transcript:
Zebra: Why should I vote for you? Rat: Because unlike most politicians who make a wide range of promises, I'm gonna focus on just one issue. Zebra: What's that? Rat: You know how when you shake the ketchup bottle but nothing comes out, you shake it more and all of a sudden, it all comes out in one massive splorp that ruins your food. Zebra: Yeah. Rat: I'm gonna change that. Zebra: How ambitious. Rat: Help me fight the splorp.
margueritem about 12 years ago
What a catchy slogan!
Arianne about 12 years ago
If you care about our children, support campaign reform! Fight the Splorp!
OGeniusOne about 12 years ago
Luckily my mother always buys squeeze bottles. No splort. You just have to make sure you shake the bottle since the ketchup separates sometimes. Is Rat trying to get votes from younger voters by using texting language? “Rat 4 Pres?”
Bilan about 12 years ago
Can Rat invent a ketchup that’s not a non-Newtonian fluid?
V-Beast about 12 years ago
♪ Momma’s got a squeeze bottle, daddy never sleeps at night♪♬
Ken8338 Premium Member about 12 years ago
I remember when Pat Paulsen of Laugh-In “ran” for President. His slogan was: "I’ve upped my standards. Now, up yours!:
BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member about 12 years ago
One trick is to stick a butter knife in the bottle, then it flows right out, no problem.
Sisyphos about 12 years ago
Not bad for a single-issue candidate. Rat! Fight the splorp! Vote Rat!
Ken8338 Premium Member about 12 years ago
My apologies, folks. My 64 year memory is a little faulty. Pat Paulsen was actually on the Smother Brothers Comedy Hour, not Laugh-in.
arye uygur about 12 years ago
Instead of removing the whole cover from the ketchup bottle, just life up the top part of it so you won’t get more ketchup than you want in your food.
eddie6192 about 12 years ago
Rat’s on to exactly what we need, a splorp free environment.
knight1192a about 12 years ago
That’s why you buy ketchup in squeeze bottles and use a good, clean butter knife on the glass bottle. Though with the state of resturant silverware cleaning in this area I don’t dare do that at a resturant anymore.
WCLamb about 12 years ago
@Arch Stanton
It was “The Who.” I think on the album “Sultans of Squeeze.”
vwdualnomand about 12 years ago
how about if we had a parliamentary system?
scarbro about 12 years ago
The ketchup moguls have already solved the problem with the flat-topped upside down bottles. @radish Love the Ogden Nash—a new one to me.
Alphaanddelta about 12 years ago
I like slorp on my fries.
the burser about 12 years ago
vote rat in 2012!
jmartin1955 about 12 years ago
A focused candidate
Kaputnik about 12 years ago
Oh you may laugh at him, but splorpage is one of the most intractable technological riddles facing America today.
Hmm, maybe a tub of ketchup with a wide top, and you just take out what you need with a spoon.
Okay, Rat, next issue.
tommysmo about 12 years ago
@Bilan – It’s already non-Newtonian. Ketchup/Catsup is thixotropic.
Number Three about 12 years ago
Excellent strip!
That’s right, Rat… Make a big deal out of the LITTLE things in life.
LOL xxx
tazz555 about 12 years ago
Ok…Rat has my vote
RACerri32 about 12 years ago
The album was " The Who By Numbers" , and yes, qne of the best Who songs, sadly, one of the shortest ever done by them.
KEA about 12 years ago
Well, at least Rat is running a positive campaign
BurritoBandito about 12 years ago
At least SPLORP is an issue we can all agree on.
Perkycat about 12 years ago
Finally – an issue I can get into- fight the slorp! BTW – How can I get on the political Do Not Call list????
Vonne Anton about 12 years ago
Rat’s “fight the splorp” campaign is a flagrant attempt at big government. To do it, taxes will be raised, the military will shrink, and freedom fries will suffer! I am strongly in favor of splorp and Rat will NOT get my vote. This message brought to you by the Pro-Splorp PAC, and is not endorsed by any candidate.
Sherlock Watson about 12 years ago
People who vote for Rat might wind up getting it in the Heinz.
Defective Premium Member about 12 years ago
Ya, I dunno how this is even an issue any more. When I buy ketchup, I see all plastic bottles of varies sorts. I don’t even remember the old fashioned glass bottle on the shelf when I got mine. Oh, I go for that upside down one, that way it’s always there waiting for me!
Rickapolis about 12 years ago
If he wins I see a new biography: ‘The Rat in the Hat’.
Sheriff Mordecai Premium Member about 12 years ago
Vote for Barmitt O’Bomney in 2012
gocartmozart about 12 years ago
Arianne,The Who.
Popeyesforearm about 12 years ago
I hate the mustard water that comes out before you get the good stuff.
moebob about 12 years ago
I’d vote for Rat over the other two anyday, lol.
WaitingMan about 12 years ago
Dr. Jill Stein (Green Party) for President. A nice Jewish lady. Who wouldn’t like that? (Don’t answer.)
GerardoDreadful about 12 years ago
Is splorp a word?
Varnes about 12 years ago
Splorp Romney?
bmonk about 12 years ago
“Fight the Splorp” is a better campaign motto than “Vote for non-non-Newtonian fluids!”
+++++
But that’s still better than his opponents: “Against all foreign substances in your precious bodily fluids!”
PanicMoon about 12 years ago
OK, how many people are going to write Rat in on their ballot and vote for him?
dfowensby about 12 years ago
yeah. one had cheesy (bad, really bad) 2-man comedy team, the other a cheesy (bad, REALLY bad) 2-man team trying to be funny.
stanparrish Premium Member about 12 years ago
If Obama did this it would be his greatest achievement.
bdwords about 12 years ago
It was: “Shake and shake the catsup bottle. None will come and them a lot’ll.” Often wrongly attributed to Nash, and with the words “first” or “at first” added (which do not fit the rhythm.)
Platinum Hippo about 12 years ago
FIGHT THE SPLORP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zmanthecrazy almost 12 years ago
vs the other 20+ people on the ballot
lauraj87 almost 12 years ago
I believe the correct phrasing is:“You shake and shake the ketchup bottle, none’ll come and then alot’ll.”:P
Aneta-32 over 11 years ago
I would vote for him;)
dfrost1 about 4 years ago
He’s got my vote.