Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for March 28, 2015

Even wanting to abuse drugs is considered a problem. But by suspending him, Max Bacon will be cured!

Whoa, looks like Gil spent his hiatus from the strip growing a mullet.

Max not Goodthink. Max crimethink. Double plus ungood. Max not crimestop, Max be unperson..FREE LUMPY!

Mr. Bacon. Mmmmm. Much better than Mr. Coffee. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio. . .

Those shadow people behind the cabinet in P2 are creepy. Gil sure has a lot of stuff on his desk for a guy who does nothing.

Mr. Bacon must have some bucks too. He looks to be around 70 with his hot 19 year old trophy wife. Speaking of 19 year old trophies, there’s that baseball trophy again. Must be Gil’s first one.

I think the shadow people might be Max and Bobby in hoodies, Gil’s making them face the wall as punishment.

Mr. Bacon: “OK, fine. I have a good friend who’s a doctor. He’ll be glad to write Max an Adderall prescription, and we can all be happy.”

C’mon Gil, no parent has ever matched your level of concern — about anything.

So how do they know it was aspirin?

… and would’ve deserved every penny

In all reality , Mr Bacon says " Look here Thorp , Max is a victim here due to your extended absence you allowed my son become an asprin addict. If you and your assistant were here to coach none of this would have happened .

Unknown to Gil is that his Mimi supplied “blue pills” are actually grape jelly bellys she bought from Kaz, who is on the lamb! Seriously….on the lamb!

Irony alert: Gil telling anyone how to parent when his own kids are missing/neglected/murdered/abused. Also, I’m confused: Is Max suspended or still in school?

Thinking of A Few Good Men here oregano/marijuana to aspirin/adderal. Gil on the stand ‘You can’t handle the truth!’ Could this be the reason Kaz is in hiding? Feds have him stashed away to testify.

In P2, Mr. Bacon’s hands and mouth continue to move after he has finished speaking. He used to star in Godzilla movies back in the ’70s.

Astonished and concerned. Not a verb and adjective on the mind of a coach with a baseball bong on his desk.

C’mon Coach, I’ve been supplying my wife with Roofies for years. She gets compliant, you get a star point guard. Now aren’t you ashamed? By the way, what’s in the jar marked Shower Meds?

Let me get this straight. In the Thorpverse, if I were driving, were pulled over by a cop, and I told him I drank two quarts of Bud when I actually drank two quarts of non-alcoholic beer (presuming I could tell the difference), and the blood alcohol test proved clean, I would still be arrested for DWI. The Goofymeter just went up to 11 on this strip.

Sigh, it’s not that complicated. Max was suspended from the basketball team, nothing to do with school. Gil does not have the power to suspend students from school. At least in the real world that would be true, but Gil is pretty powerful when he decides to make an appearance.

SORRY! SORRY! SORRY!I left out one crucial detail, actually entering today’s strip on the blog. Forgot to take my morning Placeberall. Today’s MUT is there now. It was worth the wait, I think.

Balancing that baseball on your wrist in P2 is quite the bar trick, Mr. Bacon.

In all reality , come Monday Bobby will burst into Gil s office and apply for the Milford HS baseball scorekeeper and batboy job.

ToTo, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore! Dr. Demento help us!!!

On my comment about the ‘family reunion’ the other day that was what I was alluding to. ‘They’ seem to me multiplying.

Getting back to business………. has nobody else noticed that guy is giving Gil the bird in panel two!

Thank you for your service