Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for May 12, 2016

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    Wilde Bill  over 8 years ago

    Why does my computer always want to update when I’m in the middle of something?

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    legaleagle48  over 8 years ago

    At least it’s not giving the old message, “This wand has performed an illegal operation and needs to shut down.” I always thought that meant that the cops would be breaking down my door any minute!

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    tirnaaisling  over 8 years ago

    I turn my PC on early now, so it can get all the annoying updates out of the way before I start… “They” have caught on to this and are also waiting, it is almost guaranteed that 3 minutes into sitting down to work there will be an update of some kind, the most annoying one is the hub.

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 8 years ago

    One day, it took me 30-40 minutes before I could use the computer because of some giant updates. I hear that if you want to gift someone an X-box, you should do the 2 hours of updates before doing so. The same can be said about the new “Smart” TV’s that are smart enough to keep you from watching TV due to updates.

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    Dave8972X Premium Member over 8 years ago

    I sometimes miss my old Atari and NES machines where all you had to do was plug and play.

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    tripwire45  over 8 years ago

    Sounds like Windows 10.

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    Dr_Zinj  over 8 years ago

    Dang fool wizard. Everyone knows magic missile is an offensive spell. Any of the wall spells would work, shield, or even the various Bigby’s Hand spells.

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    Courage the Cowardly Dog!  over 8 years ago

    Computers, Tablets, Phones and now magic wands every damn thing wants to update and at the wrong time!!

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    grainpaw  over 8 years ago

    Generally I don’t want updates. I want something that works just the way it always has, either just fine, or with quirks I am used to.I used to be able to save something with WordPad, then reload it later and do what I wanted. Now it reloads with Word, which takes a while to get started, then has a bunch of options I don’t want, and they have hidden the Save function in some mysterious icon of unknown meaning.Sometimes old is just right. An improvement should not come with additional problems and confusion.

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    Cerabooge  over 8 years ago

    I just refuse to update. But I’m much ruder when messages pop up.

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    cubswin2016  over 8 years ago

    He must be a relative of Aunt Clara.

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    angelfiredragon  over 8 years ago

    No matter how fast my PC gets ( I get a new one every couple of years) I’m always faster than it. You’d think with the processing power we have these days that there wouldn’t be any wait time anymore….but then again programmers keep making programs more complicated to use all that power, thus computers always stay slower than me.

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    Great Wizard Nala  over 8 years ago

    My computer always waits until I’m turning it off to go to lunch or bed to install 18 to 25 updates where it says “Don’t turn off your computer!”

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    Triviaguy  over 8 years ago

    Windows 8.1 will do that if you set it up that way. I have my personal laptop set to automatically download updates but it will only install them when I give it the go ahead. I usually give it the go ahead when I shut down.

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    brklnbern  over 8 years ago

    Good one for a change.

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    David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace  over 8 years ago

    I like this one.(I like most things.)

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    Phatts  over 8 years ago

    I turn off the updates. You have to tell Windows to not update (or download automatically then not install without asking) and you have to disable to Windows Update Service.(and if you don’t know how to do that, you probably shouldn’t)I have had too many experiences, and talked to too many people with similar experiences, where the whole system starts working WORSE after the update than before. I’m like, “What did you guys fix? Was the machine too fast? Not crashing often enough? A Green Screen of Death when it’s supposed to be Blue?”A friend of mine had his laptop automatically update from Windows 7 to Windows 10 without asking, and then it wouldn’t let him log in anymore! What did they fix? Was the laptop being too useful?

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    What? Me worried ?  over 8 years ago

    Same option as my win8.1- although I have never ever updated any win programs !

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    1953Baby  over 8 years ago

    “I do not believe machines are inanimate, sir. They’re filled with malice and ill will.” Teahouse of the August Moon, Glenn Ford to his commanding officer. . .I KNOW there are nanotechs inside my computer just waiting. . ..

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    neverenoughgold  over 8 years ago

    Update failed!

    Restarting…

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    Katla858  over 8 years ago

    Yup! My phone wanted to update when I used the google map to drive somewhere I never been before… NOT HAPPY. Had to stop at the first opportunity and luckily I hadnt got too lost yet.

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    rickray777  over 8 years ago

    “New update available. Download now?”“LATER!! LATER!!”“And now a word from our Sponsor."”NOT NOW, NOT NOW!!!"“Hiya, Friends! Need new transportation? Come on down to Max’s Showroom for our Top-of-the-Line Carriages! Then come to Max’s Stables for our Most Amazing Line of Thoroughbreds, to go with them! Financially strapped? No problem! Ask about our Special Financing Programs! For an UNBELIEVABLY low monthly payment, YOU can be the Proud Owner, of a Brand-New Carriage and Thoroughbreds, Free and clear, in just under Five Years! Yes, YOU! Come on down to Max’s Showroom for our Most Amazing Top-of-the-Line Carriages! And then, of course, Max’s Stables for our Most Amazing Line of Thoroughbreds, to help pull them along! Financially strapped? NOT TO WORRY! Ask about our Special Financing Programs! YES! For an UNBELIEVABLY low monthly payment, YOU, YES, YOU, can be the Proud Owner of a Brand-New Carriage and Thoroughbreds, Free and clear, in just under Five Years! YES, INDEED! Come visit Max’s TODAY!!”Wiz now with about 50 arrows stuck in his body…YI-I-I, I guess this just doesn’t seem to be your kind of day, Wiz! Sorry.

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    stuartj12  over 8 years ago

    Why is a wizard using a starting level spell?

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