Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 23, 2016

Rat, find a religion that sells indulgences.

It seems even most churchgoers don’t believe in Hell, or at least don’t believe there’s any chance they are going there. Hence all the wrongdoing going on 24/7.

Malaquías 3:8-9

Maybe you should let Rat believe that little lie. He may become more tolerable.

People who avoid wrongdoing solely because they fear Hell do not understand right and wrong in the first place.

Love the palm tree.

Christ’s advice: “Sell all you have and give it to the poor [not the church], then you will have treasure in heaven.”

There’s many a church where Rat’s theology is the standard.

“I don’t have to treat people outside this church with any sort of respect or even basic human dignity. They are apostates. Only WE are the true believers on whom God smiles.”

Rat will always be for Rat……………..so HAPPY THANKSGIVING !

‘Good for you’ Really??

In the Middle Ages you could buy indulgences, which led to protestantism.

If you’re going to hell anyway, may as well steal from the church.

Hypocrisy will get you nowhere Rat, except maybe purgatory. Hope you don’t try to steal money while crossing the river Styx.

“Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory (over sin and death) through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

I Corinthians 15: 56-57

The usual picture of heaven is boring. I’d rather be in hell. At least it’s more interesting.

Remember, there are only a few locations left.

Rat has found religion! Well, sort of.

At least it’s on his map. Near the far edge….

I am an atheist. I find heavenly joy in the wild places left on this earth and am kind to all living things. No old book or law tells me to do so, it is simply how I chose to live.

“Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty.”—Mark Twain

[panel #4]

Rat: What if it was the Church of Scientology?

Goat: [crickets]

“Good for you”? There is nothing good about donating to a church.

What if you send God an e-mail saying that you are a Nigerian prince who needs His financial help?

A basic fact of reality: Dead people stay dead. There is no magical 2nd life in a magical paradise or a magical hell.

The ridiculous heaven fantasy makes terrorism possible. The world would be better off without it.

Too late, Rat. Enjoy the flames.

xxx

Malachi 3:5 is a good one:5 “So I will come to put you on trial. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive the foreigners among you of justice, but do not fear me,” says the Lord Almighty."The part about defrauding laborers certainly applies to the people who leave fake $20 bill tracts in place of a tip, and the part about foreigners is pretty relevant to today.

I think Rat’s fate is pretty much sealed, no matter how much he gives to (or takes from) the church.

So, if the soul comes from God, why would he send it to Hell for eternity based on the belief of a body he put himself in?Never got that.

I don’t know what happens if you fall in the river Styx JudyAz, and I don’t want to find out.

Good g-d, Pastis, stay away from religion, please!