For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for May 27, 2017

Sadly, this is an all-too-frequent occurrence…

You don’t know what you got ‘till it’s gone. That’s as true about people as our environment.

When my mother past away we didn’t have a funeral for that very reason. People should do something nice to one another when they are ALIVE not when they are gone.

At our church, we have a “Celebration of Life”. While it is very similar to a funeral, at one point people are allowed to stand and give a remembrance of the person who died. More often than not there were just as many laughs as tears. It’s great for the family because so much love is shared. At one, a gentleman who was well-known to the children of our church for his weird ties had died and, at his funeral, the children were allowed to pick one of his ties to keep. My girls, who were asked to pick first, still treasure their Mr. Hand Ties.

It goes back to John Donne’s 17th Devotion ("No man is an island…): it tolls for you. Funerals are for the living.

My Mother use to say only way u got to see your relatives was a wake or funeral mostly through from far away

I don’t want a funeral. I told my family I want to be cremated right away and then they should go to Hooter’s for a jug of beer and some wings.

WE all have loss. It is an inevitable part of being alive and having siblings, parents, grand parents and friends. We should treat them as if it could be their last day on Earth.

Lynn’s notes:

This thought came to me as I helped a friend prepare for her mother’s funeral. Her mom was someone I truly cared for, and yet, I seldom went to visit her. I felt guilty for thinking about her and doing more for her after she’d died than I did when she was alive. I am much more aware of time now, and how quickly it runs out.

I frequently give my wife bouquets of flowers. She really loves receiving flowers.

She has insisted that she wants flowers when she’s alive, and well enough to enjoy them, – not after she’s gone !

Years ago, at a memorial service for a dear longtime friend, I was the last to stand up for remembrances. I finished with the comment: "Whenever I told a corny joke, A. would say: ‘D., Go to your room!’ Oops! I just heard ‘D. Go sit down!’ " So I did. (followed by a group laugh)

We just had a wonderful party for my mother’s 90th birthday. Mom started planning the party a year in advance. She said we were to have a big party whether she was there or not. She WAS there and had a great time. I could be content with there being no funeral when the time comes, but I’m not sure my sisters would go for that.

My mom would have enjoyed her funeral, she got all her children, grandchildren & great-grandchildren to go to church together.