Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 07, 2017

Don’t push it there, department, he ain’t that old.

Beg to differ, but push mowers and bermuda shorts will never be retro.

That means I in!

I just got upgraded from “classic” to “vintage”.

Retro is only when millenials do it. Fossil is more appropriate.

I was thinking miserable old coot…

Given that he also is pushing a man-powered reel mower, he definitely is a ‘stick to the tried and true’ type guy.

What does a guy have to do to be in the “dignified obsolescence” group?

Sorry, but “Geezer” is MUCH MORE accurate!

Retro is good. I can live with retro. Now get off my damn lawn.

Cool ! That’s really rad, man.

I have reached the age and stage where many of those trite expressions of my youth have been picked up by today’s kids. Can you dig it ?

I am expendable and recyclable.

Better reclassified than repurposed ….

Being brain locked to having a senior moment.

A nice young gentlement (NARF!) called me “Pops” the other day. Who you calling “Pops”?!?@!?#?!

Then I thought about my full head of white hair….hmmmm, maybe I should shave it off…

The one contemporary phrase that makes ME gag is that silliness about “reach out”. . .geez. . .“get in touch with” was much better and less invasive. . .

I’m no longer an outsider, I’m “indie;” no longer nuts, I’m “cray-cray.” The scary part is that’s what Ted Manson and Sun Myung Moon were seen as and look at the nutty cults they built with the loons following them!

I used a push mower. Neighborhood kids used to watch me cut grass.

So far I get no reference from anyone. I am fine with that.

I prefer a retro yard; native grasses that you burn off once a year.

I’m expecting my Curmudgeon Certificate any day now.

Yeah, I’m expecting my letter any day now.

once a Dork, always a Dork

that’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it!