Frazz by Jef Mallett for September 30, 2017

Sign on a road trip: We’re the crash experts!!

“When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. When I clip a coupon from a newspaper I separate it, but when I clip a coupon TO a newspaper, I fasten it. And when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it.” – Richard Lederer

Crisp is a texture not a temperature.

and when a house burns up, it burns down

… and you fill out a form by filling it in

You park in a driveway and drive on a parkway.

Jef..you live in Michigan….that heat was last WEEK!

Don’t anyone ever tell me that English is logical. Ever. Basic English is easy to learn for a foreigner, but when you start digging…

You can watch a bird descent; “The Dove Dove Down.” Worry if your car is safe; “Did my brakes break?” See the air velocity drop; “Did the wind wind down?”

‘Inflammable’ means flammable? What a country!

Why do you dust furniture? That would be sprinkling dust on it. A bird does not sit on a wire, it is standing on it.

No contradiction there. “Crisp” is a texture. Toasted (or fried) things tend to be crisp, but cold things also tend to be crisp. There’s no real correspondence between something being lukewarm and it being crisp.

If a pitted peach is pitted against a pit, who wins?

Does a “Semi-Boneless Ham” have a bone or not??

Only once in a while? Hee, hee, hee!