Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 06, 2018

’Tis best to stay far away form Jef. (Have we ever seen him cycling by the way?)

It’s not easy binge watching the tv. It takes a lot of discipline.

Even harder to continue sitting on your rear all day when there’s nothing good on.

(Jef should use a mirror)

I’d say, punch him in the gut, Pig, but you’d probably break your fist.

It is like you, except with more sleep and less silly looking headgear.

Nice try pig, your a people person, and well Jef with one “F” is just that. Jef has forgets those bicycle lanes aren’t that wide. Oops, and “Another one Bites the dust”.

Will Jef EVER stop?

Wooah Jef those tits are getting big

Oh yeah? Well Jef, clearly you lack true substance…and I’m not only saying that because you wear your shorts too tight and leave NOTHING to the imagination.

A couple of priests are walking though a cathedral after mass, when one is overcome by the awesomeness of it all and falls to his knees, crying, “Oh, Lord, I am nothing! I am nothing!”His companion is caught up in the moment and also falls to his knees, exclaiming, “Oh, Lord, I too am nothing!”Back in the pews is a custodian cleaning up, and he is so impressed by the sight he kneels as well, crying, “Oh, Lord, I too am nothing! I’m nothing!”The first priest nudges the second, nods back at the custodian, and says, “Now look who thinks HE’S nothing!”

Pig go get, Rat, to bring the baseball bat to knock all of Jef’s teeth out

Pig may be a nobody, but he’s definitely not common. Really. A talking pig? Not common.

Pig needs to check his spelling.

Now, Pig, it’s useless to be nice to jerks.

Hey Jef, what’s it like to be a pompous %*# with no purpose in life.

Yikes! After reading all of these comments, I’m starting to feel a little bad for Jef. Bike riding is literally a pain in the butt for me. I would imagine being that uncomfortable would affect a cyclist’s personality.

To paraphrase one of the great pragmatic philosophers of our time, Bart Simpson, “Common nobody and proud of it!”

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I don’t know Jef, what is it like to be a common nobody?

Pig, you’re a good egg..or bacon… No, I mean you fried..er, I mean tried to bake..er, make friends….Oh, skip it. I can’t type before breakfast.

In answer to your question, Jef the Cyclist in overly tight purple spandex, PHBBT!

By the way, I hired Dill Wedekind to feel sorry for your tires (or do you say “tyres”?)—see today’s Cul de Sac….

Hard, ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard, to love someone who never did love you? Hard, ain’t it hard ain’t it hard, dear God, not to turn that someone into someone black and blue?

Jef could use a bit of empathy mixed in with his high standards and honesty.

Jef makes me want to jam a stick into his spokes. Happy trails Jeffy!