Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for November 19, 2018

“It was easier after.”

“And just WHO is EVER????”

“All cats are grey in the dark”

Turn off the light? She unscrewed it in the second panel.

I’d love you old and I’d love you fat, but old AND fat?!? Let me get back to you on that

No sugar tonight!

That joke where the punchline is “Timing!”

Women’s compliment filter is complex and difficult to penetrate. For any compliment to be received and accepted it must pass a rigorous sequence of tests. It must be given by the right person, at the right time, in the right place, with the right intention AND it must be unsolicited.

Arlo’s compliment failed on two points, at least,.

I’m sure Arlo can think of a way to help Janis take off those two pounds. ;-)

And it’s now time for a sexist, chauvinistic remark: women.

But she said it and turned off the light at the same time ,no pleasing them

cue Pat Benatar’s ‘Promises in the Dark’

He loves you for your mind. What’s wrong with that?

“I’ve never stopped loving you…no wait, I didn’t mean you’re already fat!”

Amazing how women want to be considered sexy looking but get upset when guys stare at them because they look sexy.

You’re as sexy as ever!

Alternate Janet response: “You’re no help!” (Sex is all you think about.)

Alternate Janet response: “Are you saying you always thought I was fat!” (Interpreting “as ever” the wrong way.)

Alternate Janet response: Tears up, lower lip trembles. (She wanted to hear “I love you just the way you are.”)

My weight has varied up to five pounds over the course of a day – two pounds is a statistical anomaly on a healthy adult human whose height is within statistical American norms. Translation – Janis isn’t under 5" tall, two pounds isn’t enough, by itself, to be concerned about.

Only do it with the lights on?

“Turn the light back on…”

“Well, as I remember, you’re pretty sexy.”

♫♪ Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?♫♪

Janis, you said a mouthful! I gain weight just watching food commercials.

Vanity, thy name is woman.

He might say that she’s sexy, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating…

Arlo is your biggest fan. Time after time he invents ways to gaze at your physical being. Pretty good for a spouse married that long and after a child

More cushion for the…

Appearance doesn’t or at least shouldn’t matter. Love is a connection beyond that.

When I was getting married my mom commented to me on how good looking my husband (to be) was. I was surprised as it never occurred to me that he was good looking – he was just him and, while I knew what he looked like, whether he was good looking or not did not occur to me. He was a great friend, fun to be with, he enjoyed similar things to me – and those things that only I liked he took an interest in (and vice versa) and we had similar values in life. Appearance-wise it never occurred to me that he was anything other average, if I even bothered to think about it.

I know that he felt the same way about me. If we had been concerned more about appearances we might not still be together 39 years later.