Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 29, 2019

Cool, Calvin. Real cool.

Calvin, the harder you try to make it look like nothing’s wrong, the more it’ll have the opposite effect.

Wow, he didn’t look for any cookies. A rarity.

“Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.” — William Shakespeare

When Calvin acts guilty, Mom knows it’s going to be bad.

All is calm… uh-huh.

The axe is going to fall.

The increasingly panicked expressions are amazing.

Calm down Calvin. You know what’s coming to you.

As pure as the driven slush…..

Smooth as that peanut butter he’s spreading.

Just like my daughter. Every time she did something really bad, she would try to be cool, but would end up being a neurotic weirdo. If she would come home and immediately start cleaning her room or doing chores without being asked. the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

All the more reason to get up and look out the window.

Yup. The trouble with ‘act casual’ is always the ‘acting’.

Look at the bright side, Calvin. Compared to this everything else you’ve done is insignificant.

The Reaper is coming. You’ll never ever have to pay taxes, Calvin…

Reminds me of the bank robber who wrote his demands on the back of a personalized deposit slip from the bank. Not going to end well.

No one plays innocent as well as Calvin.

A guilty conscience preparing for a getaway.

Just act normal, and everything will be all right… No… On second thought…Dont act normal.

Smooth. She’ll never suspect a thing.

In spite of being Spaceman Spiff, I’m afraid Calvin really doesn’t have “the right stuff” – the calm, competent reaction in the face of a crisis.

“I fear the moment of retribution is at hand.” ~ Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy

Ohhhhhh. This isn’t how I remember this going. I guess I got it confused with another one.

She really shouldn’t sneak up on a guy like that! Likely to cause an attack of conscience.

Mom has her own clean clothes. Maybe Calvin will wear them as a disguise.

First rule of being on the run is to walk.

No need to punish him, he is adequately punishing himself.

Cal, that there is one mighty fine sandwich you have there.

Time for Mom and Dad to send him to the New York Military Academy to straighten him out.

He forgot to whistle nonchalantly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zoiu8_K-eZg

She’s gonna kill him!!!!!! I can’t wait to see what he’s in for! I have all Watterson’s work but don’t know how to find it!

Maybe if he gives Mom a free membership in G.R.O.S.S……

Subtlety, thy name isn’t Calvin.

I’m also reminded of Ralph Kramden being called down to the IRS. He tells Norton that he’s going to stay cool, calm and collected, no matter what they ask him. “If they get anything out of me,” he boasts, “it won’t be out of me that they get it.”

Then the T-Man enters the scene and says, “Mr. Kramden?” and Ralph jumps 10 feet in the air (followed, of course, by his patented “Hummana hummana hummana . . .”)

Calvin looks like a small spazz in the last panel!

Calvin, the King of nonchalant.

Yup, I was just going to say not a nonchalant bone in this kid’s body.

Poor dumb kid.

The guilty flees when no Mom pursues.

Calvin’s best form evolves after the down turn.

Considering the past overtures of Calvin, I wonder how mother is not picking on these leads for trouble.