Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 14, 2019

Nothing for Pig, not even cheese?

Will the news be better tasted accompanied by a drink and a snack?

Turn the TV off and go outside , or read a book .

Our hopes for Netflix to provide free popcorn and ice cream are being killed

I am sad because of this

That is a very expensive TV if it can do THAT

Cable’s new strategy for customers to overlook their new quarterly rate increases: get them intoxicated, then get the customer to consent to the new rates through the voice command remote.

Xanax would work better.

I can’t remember what was on the news last night, because I drank too much.

Hand me a Martini too. The news today leaves me shaken, but not stirred.

Just switch off the TV after he hands you the free drink.

The cable news may be improved, but that box TV is decades old. Of course, I’ve never had a new one hand me a drink…

For what cable costs you should get Pizza and Beer once a week ! ……… Croc Power !

If it were only so…..

I’d say that cable news, regardless of what network it is and what your political beliefs are, are more likely to piss you off than depress you.

I watch local news in the morning and that’s it. I sleep better now.

I’ll drink to today’s cartoon!…Heck, after the workweek is over I’ll drink to almost anything!

RAT pays the cable bill……

Now that’s a really smart TV. Where do I find one?

The drink without the news is even better. Drunken ignorance.

I thought Rat drank beer.

We received the forecasted scratch-and-sniff, now where is the smell-O-vision?

The nightly news. It’s my favorite drinking game.

Knowing that all the Real Housewives shows, Kardashians, Bachelor/Bachelorette, Survivor, Big Brother will never ever go away really depresses me……

Fox pours watered gin made in China. Be very wary!

Make it a double, thank you.

A new advance in product placement!

r.i.p pig

Make mine a Root Beer!

#WelcomeToTheNewWorld

Pig… I… I don’t know what to say. LOL!

So the ancient TV console has a purpose.

It’s going to take more than one…

There’s a tiny little drone garaged there…

That’s why they always have drug ads during the news.

The next great thing in TVs—auto-bars included! I like it!

most excellent