Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for October 30, 2019

OK—let’s have a vote. Chance has anger issues and his parents are absent because…A.He was born crazy angry and killed them in a fit of blowtop anger (though having got it out his system he is cool now).B.As a second-grade mafia don he ordered a hit on them for not putting Pringles in his lunch box.C.They died in some tragic, inadvertent, semi-hilarious fashion like John Pascoe’s frosty parents.D.They abused him and lost custody.E.They abused opioids and OD’d. F.They lost their jobs after the Great Recession and had to leave Milford to find work, but are just counting the days until they can reunite with their loving Chance.G.None of the above—fat Chance any of this will make any sense whatsoever.H.All we are saying is Chance a piece (of pie or more cookies, or whatever has been putting on the poundage lately).

Who’s “the Milford star”, Chris Schuring or Hiawatha James?

The former VP appears to be headed for exploding head syndrome in panel two.

P2: Gil does not appear blowtop mad as Granny and the VP fondle his nether regions…

Being blunt causes you to throw something sharp? These writers are honing their skills with this edgy banter.

P1, Bluntly, since I’m never at practice or the games, this is my only Chance other than the showers, to see you at all.

P2, The grandparents certainly look to be terrified of him.

P3, Luckily, your grandparents threw all of the sharp objects out.

P2 Nice hairline, or is that a scar?

Nah, I’m not going to blow up and throw something sharp,that’s kids stuff . I’m going to do something an adult would do ,like blow up the Milford Star in all reality .

P2- Gil speaking bluntly? Chance appears stumped. At least with the left arm.

Grandpa always violently head bangs right before a blow top incident.

Actually, if that were true people would be diving for cover…

“…you’re so confused, Coach. BLOWTOP is my brand for the blunts I sell at school. So, did Mrs. Thorp call in an order?”

Stay away from the music room- both sharps and flats are being thrown around frequently there.

P 4: “…Well, I guess I’m gonna’ have to call Hadley or Ed now, just in case I need to sue someone for defamation of character…”

Don’t you find it admirable that Chance is over his Second grade temper issues?

P-2: The Grand parents are appalled at how bad Chance and Gil’s Martin and Lewis routine really is.

P1: That’s great news Coach…what are you grinning about, you big ape? I’m gonna BLOW…

Chance: “Don’t ever call me Bluntly again! Oops, sorry.”

P2 AWKWARD At least he is off the crutches and can play again if we ever get to Friday night

Chance was confused at a young age because his ‘fadder’ was really a ‘mudder’. (yes that is Seinfeld but Abbott and Costello did the first version)

So I’m guessing Grandma and Grandpa got real nervous in P2 because they were afraid Chance was going to go “blow top mad” when hearing that someone called the paper and told the story of him throwing scissors in second grade? Really? We’ve seen NO evidence of Chance having a short temper. The only time he lost his cool was after he endured several cheap shots in a football game, which is hardly an unusual reaction.

If he has never had anger issues since SECOND GRADE, then this story is beyond stupid. We better find out he’s been lashing out and beating people regularly over the years.

And speaking of beating, beat the rush and read the last two days of Mopped Up Thorp now, before the site crashes from the massive traffic headed its way.

Isn’t it weird how one day, during a strip where really nothing that interesting happened, we get a ton of comments? Over 80 at this point, basically the same number of comments as when Boo died.